Lately it seems as though
sighs are dew which have
turned to frost–Why do I bear this burden
oh why does dawn bleed
red and shout?As waves that lend chorus
of voices is pretense, come
adorn me with tears, come
wound with shallowness
of heart–To the incessant calling of
sorrow you plead deaf, I’d
rather you didn’t hide
behind smiles while you
pity and change,you termed me as foolish
while I identified you as
strange.
Photo credits: Pinterest
Posted on ‘Open Link Night’ @ dVerse Pub
Posted on ‘Poetry Pantry’ @ Poets United
90 Responses
Such delicate imagery in the lines:
‘Lately it seems as though
sighs are dew which have
turned to frost’.
Such a contrast with the dawn bleeding red and shouting.
Thank you so much, Kim 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
I liked the juxtaposition of images in this.
Thank you so much, Petru 🙂 so good to see you ❤️
I liked the stanzas rhyming with strange-change. Also these two lines: “wound with shallowness
of heart”
Thank you so much, Frank 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
Beautiful writing Sanaa, I especially love the imagery of ‘sighs are dew which have turned to frost’ xxx
Thank you so much, Xenia 😀 so good to see you ❤️
I too like the phrase “sighs are dew which have turned to frost.”
Thank you so much, Jo 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
A well deserved scorn in the end… those insensitive smiles do not deserve to be treated as anything else than strange.
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, Bjorn ❤️
Interesting subject. It is my sense that pretensiousness is usually treated satirically or ironically as A characteristic of individuals either callous or unaware and thus somewhat outside the bounds of serious literary contemplation, which prompts me to reflect your question back:
“Why do you bear this burden?” You answer subtly and beautifully that the poet longs to be understood and acknowledged by the loved one, and the fact that this is not done and such desires labeled as foolishness hurts , and frames the “strangeness” vs intimacy vis a vis. Well done, resonant.
Thank you so much, Lona 🙂 so good to see you ❤️
What a strange relationship your words entwined. Another interesting write.
ZQ
Thank you so much, ZQ 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
How sad and foolish to be pretending and speaks of a shallow heart ~ Thanks for joining us for OLN Sanaa ~
Thank you so much, Grace 😀 so good to see you ❤️
The contrasts you present here are breathtaking! Love this, Sanaa!
Thank you so much, Sara 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
The last lines make me smile hugely : I count you strange. Go get ’em! Love it.
Thank you so much, Toni 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
Sometimes it is only through pretense that we can make it through the day?
😬
There is an unmistakable hint of agony and pain in “Oh why does dawn bleed red and shout?” A powerful and poignant write!
Thank you so much, Jane 🙂 so good to see you ❤️
“As waves that lend chorus of voices is pretense” .. sigh this is such a potent and apt description! 💙
Thank you so much, Sameera 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
A lovely lament, Sanaa. Pretense is always hurtful, I think, and as I grow older, I simply won’t put up with it!
Thank you so much, Sarah 🙂 so good to see you ❤️
This is heartbreaking. Endings often are. And after someone is treated as less is difficult to get back to where things began.
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, Magaly ❤️
Returning for seconds… and delighting in the bittersweet emotions of the last stanza. Bittersweet because some discoveries are bitter, but they need to happen before we can taste the sweetness that comes with moving on… and finding better.
Absolutely!❤️
“To the incessant calling of
sorrow you plead deaf, I’d
rather you didn’t hide
behind smiles while you
pity and change,”
This line struck me hard. I feel guilty of ‘pleading deaf’ myself. I wonder if you would further expand this idea for me, either here or in another poem?
Thank you so much, Bryan 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
(I’ll drop you an email)
Wonderful verse!
Thank you so much, Charlotte 😀 so good to see you ❤️
Lovely images – which seem to me of self-exploration as much as anything.
Thank you so much, Rosemary 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
Your opening stanza really shone for me. Setting the scene for the denouement in the following verses as their relationship is shattered. What a brilliant write Sanaa..
Thank you so much, Robin 😀 so good to see you ❤️
drifting apart in such bitter sweet lines Sanna
Thank you so much, Laura 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
When there is such a divide between the points of view, it is hard to find any satisfying reconciliation.
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, Rommy ❤️
I like the duality of the process. It does go both ways doesn’t it?
“You termed me as foolish
while I identified you as
strange”
Much♥️love
Thank you so much, Gillena 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
Much🌹love
frozen sighs and shouting dawn.. vivid images!
Thank you so much, Rajani 🙂 so good to see you ❤️
Makes me wonder why these two have a relationship if they think one another either ‘foolish’ or ‘strange.’
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, Mary ❤️
I love the dawn bleeding red…..and can see the smile of the other person, who seems unsympathetic to the narrator.
Thank you so much, Sherry 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
Oh that opening froze my heart, and I knew what was to follow…..beautifully heart wrenching.
Thank you so much, Donna 🙂 so good to see you ❤️
An evocative, poignant write. I love this part: “…
oh why does dawn bleed
red and shout?”
Thank you so much, Vivian 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
I hate it when people pretend that they don’t hear me, even when I shout. That’s one element of this poem that resonates with me.
😬
I hope my comment shows up. Anyway, this was not to be I guess. The first stanza was my favorite, Sanaa!
Thank you so much, Bekkie 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
I especially loved the ending, which pleased me in a big way.
Thank you so much, Sue 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
… sighs are dew which have turned to frost … a beautiful poignant line.
Thank you so much, Loredana 😀 so good to see you ❤️
Delicate imagery but such a powerful write–
Thank you so much, Audrey 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
loved the imagery of this… well penned poem
Thank you so much, Robert 😀 so good to see you ❤️
I love sighs like dew turned to frosts. Really good closing line!. And the bloody red dawn shouting is brilliant. I really like this one.
Thank you so much, Colleen 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
I am always counted strange and have been burned by fake smiles. You have captured a deep feeling and this resonates with me.
Thank you so much, Truedessa 🙂 so good to see you ❤️
Frigid sighs and red sky morniings shouting… Very nice!
Thank you so much, Dwight 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Sigh….lovely!
❤️❤️❤️
I like the imagery here. Also I sense the narrator would like to describe the pretentious person as more than strange but just left it that.
Absolutely 😉 thanks for stopping by, Myrna ❤️
Brilliant writing! The heartrending question posed in the second stanza is so impactful. And the close on this piece is inspired.
Thank you so much, Wendy 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
lovely imagery! elegantly written. 🙂
Thank you so much, Cheong 😀 so good to see you ❤️
Happens very often! Beautifully written!
Thank you so much, Locomente 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
I too am taken with your beautiful words: “sighs are dew which have turned to frost.” A delicately expressed write. Well done.
Anna :o]
Thank you so much, Anna 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
My first thought is that pretense is never good…but wait, there will be times it can help. Sometimes we don’t want to spread our inner most thoughts all over the ground, and when you say, “How are you?” My answer will be, “I’m OK.” When clearly I am not…it is just as well. Keep it to yourself, no need to hang out the laundry for all to see, when it is not necessary. Not the right time to share, probably not expected, just a superficial inquiry. Requiring a superficial answer?
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, Annell ❤️