Unraveling the pattern of pretense

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Lately it seems as though
sighs are dew which have
turned to frost–

Why do I bear this burden
oh why does dawn bleed
red and shout?

As waves that lend chorus
of voices is pretense, come
adorn me with tears, come
wound with shallowness
of heart–

To the incessant calling of
sorrow you plead deaf, I’d
rather you didn’t hide
behind smiles while you
pity and change,

you termed me as foolish
while I identified you as
strange.

 

Photo credits: Pinterest

Posted on ‘Open Link Night’ @ dVerse Pub

Posted on ‘Poetry Pantry’ @ Poets United

Comments

  1. Such delicate imagery in the lines:
    ‘Lately it seems as though
    sighs are dew which have
    turned to frost’.
    Such a contrast with the dawn bleeding red and shouting.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Kim πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  2. I liked the juxtaposition of images in this.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Petru πŸ™‚ so good to see you ❀️

  3. Frank says:

    I liked the stanzas rhyming with strange-change. Also these two lines: “wound with shallowness
    of heart”

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Frank πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  4. Xenia Tran says:

    Beautiful writing Sanaa, I especially love the imagery of ‘sighs are dew which have turned to frost’ xxx

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Xenia πŸ˜€ so good to see you ❀️

  5. Jo says:

    I too like the phrase “sighs are dew which have turned to frost.”

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Jo πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  6. Bjorn says:

    A well deserved scorn in the end… those insensitive smiles do not deserve to be treated as anything else than strange.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Definitely πŸ™‚ thanks for stopping by, Bjorn ❀️

  7. Lona Gynt says:

    Interesting subject. It is my sense that pretensiousness is usually treated satirically or ironically as A characteristic of individuals either callous or unaware and thus somewhat outside the bounds of serious literary contemplation, which prompts me to reflect your question back:
    β€œWhy do you bear this burden?” You answer subtly and beautifully that the poet longs to be understood and acknowledged by the loved one, and the fact that this is not done and such desires labeled as foolishness hurts , and frames the β€œstrangeness” vs intimacy vis a vis. Well done, resonant.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Lona πŸ™‚ so good to see you ❀️

  8. ZQ says:

    What a strange relationship your words entwined. Another interesting write.
    ZQ

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, ZQ πŸ™‚ so glad you liked it ❀️

  9. Grace says:

    How sad and foolish to be pretending and speaks of a shallow heart ~ Thanks for joining us for OLN Sanaa ~

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Grace πŸ˜€ so good to see you ❀️

  10. Sara McNulty says:

    The contrasts you present here are breathtaking! Love this, Sanaa!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Sara πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  11. kanzensakura says:

    The last lines make me smile hugely : I count you strange. Go get ’em! Love it.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Toni πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  12. Sometimes it is only through pretense that we can make it through the day?

    1. Sanaa says:

      😬

  13. Jane Seymour says:

    There is an unmistakable hint of agony and pain in “Oh why does dawn bleed red and shout?” A powerful and poignant write!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Jane πŸ™‚ so good to see you ❀️

  14. Sameera Chaudhary says:

    “As waves that lend chorus of voices is pretense” .. sigh this is such a potent and apt description! πŸ’™

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Sameera πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  15. A lovely lament, Sanaa. Pretense is always hurtful, I think, and as I grow older, I simply won’t put up with it!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Sarah πŸ™‚ so good to see you ❀️

  16. This is heartbreaking. Endings often are. And after someone is treated as less is difficult to get back to where things began.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Definitely πŸ™‚ thanks for stopping by, Magaly ❀️

      1. Returning for seconds… and delighting in the bittersweet emotions of the last stanza. Bittersweet because some discoveries are bitter, but they need to happen before we can taste the sweetness that comes with moving on… and finding better.

        1. Sanaa says:

          Absolutely!❀️

  17. “To the incessant calling of
    sorrow you plead deaf, I’d
    rather you didn’t hide
    behind smiles while you
    pity and change,”

    This line struck me hard. I feel guilty of ‘pleading deaf’ myself. I wonder if you would further expand this idea for me, either here or in another poem?

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Bryan πŸ™‚ so glad you liked it ❀️

      (I’ll drop you an email)

  18. Charlotte says:

    Wonderful verse!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Charlotte πŸ˜€ so good to see you ❀️

  19. Lovely images – which seem to me of self-exploration as much as anything.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Rosemary πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  20. Old Egg says:

    Your opening stanza really shone for me. Setting the scene for the denouement in the following verses as their relationship is shattered. What a brilliant write Sanaa..

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Robin πŸ˜€ so good to see you ❀️

  21. drifting apart in such bitter sweet lines Sanna

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Laura πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  22. Rommy says:

    When there is such a divide between the points of view, it is hard to find any satisfying reconciliation.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Definitely πŸ™‚ thanks for stopping by, Rommy ❀️

  23. gillena says:

    I like the duality of the process. It does go both ways doesn’t it?

    “You termed me as foolish
    while I identified you as
    strange”

    Muchβ™₯️love

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Gillena πŸ™‚ so glad you liked it ❀️

      Much🌹love

  24. Thotpurge says:

    frozen sighs and shouting dawn.. vivid images!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Rajani πŸ™‚ so good to see you ❀️

  25. Mary says:

    Makes me wonder why these two have a relationship if they think one another either ‘foolish’ or ‘strange.’

    1. Sanaa says:

      Definitely πŸ™‚ thanks for stopping by, Mary ❀️

  26. I love the dawn bleeding red…..and can see the smile of the other person, who seems unsympathetic to the narrator.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Sherry πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  27. Oh that opening froze my heart, and I knew what was to follow…..beautifully heart wrenching.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Donna πŸ™‚ so good to see you ❀️

  28. Vivian Zems says:

    An evocative, poignant write. I love this part: “…
    oh why does dawn bleed
    red and shout?”

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Vivian πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  29. Magical Mystical Teacher says:

    I hate it when people pretend that they don’t hear me, even when I shout. That’s one element of this poem that resonates with me.

    1. Sanaa says:

      😬

  30. Bekkie says:

    I hope my comment shows up. Anyway, this was not to be I guess. The first stanza was my favorite, Sanaa!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Bekkie πŸ™‚ so glad you liked it ❀️

  31. Sue Anderson says:

    I especially loved the ending, which pleased me in a big way.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Sue πŸ˜€ so glad you enjoyed it ❀️

  32. … sighs are dew which have turned to frost … a beautiful poignant line.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Loredana πŸ˜€ so good to see you ❀️

  33. Delicate imagery but such a powerful write–

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Audrey πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  34. Robert says:

    loved the imagery of this… well penned poem

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Robert πŸ˜€ so good to see you ❀️

  35. I love sighs like dew turned to frosts. Really good closing line!. And the bloody red dawn shouting is brilliant. I really like this one.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Colleen πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  36. Truedessa says:

    I am always counted strange and have been burned by fake smiles. You have captured a deep feeling and this resonates with me.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Truedessa πŸ™‚ so good to see you ❀️

  37. Dwight says:

    Frigid sighs and red sky morniings shouting… Very nice!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Dwight πŸ˜€ so glad you enjoyed it ❀️

  38. ayala says:

    Sigh….lovely!

    1. Sanaa says:

      ❀️❀️❀️

  39. Myrna says:

    I like the imagery here. Also I sense the narrator would like to describe the pretentious person as more than strange but just left it that.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Absolutely πŸ˜‰ thanks for stopping by, Myrna ❀️

  40. Wendy Bourke says:

    Brilliant writing! The heartrending question posed in the second stanza is so impactful. And the close on this piece is inspired.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Wendy πŸ˜€ so glad you enjoyed it ❀️

  41. dsnake1 says:

    lovely imagery! elegantly written. πŸ™‚

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Cheong πŸ˜€ so good to see you ❀️

  42. Locomente says:

    Happens very often! Beautifully written!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Locomente πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  43. Anna :o] says:

    I too am taken with your beautiful words: β€œsighs are dew which have turned to frost.” A delicately expressed write. Well done.
    Anna :o]

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Anna πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  44. My first thought is that pretense is never good…but wait, there will be times it can help. Sometimes we don’t want to spread our inner most thoughts all over the ground, and when you say, “How are you?” My answer will be, “I’m OK.” When clearly I am not…it is just as well. Keep it to yourself, no need to hang out the laundry for all to see, when it is not necessary. Not the right time to share, probably not expected, just a superficial inquiry. Requiring a superficial answer?

    1. Sanaa says:

      Definitely πŸ™‚ thanks for stopping by, Annell ❀️

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