The night seemed to sound only of water
thought her wearied soul and mind,
inclined towards the sky that had darkened
to a faint violet–inviolate as though free
from desecration and blind rage.
Age, she thought was like climbing a summit,
the further we climb the clearer our views get.
Forget the one who hurt you yesterday
because lives fade like a passing shadow.
Espresso and a half-written page peered as a tear blossomed in her eye. Why was her heart bent upon following a ritual where each stretch of the imagination was tortured. Orchard, which had once belonged to my mother was mine-- Dine.
Photo credits: Pixabay
Form: Chained Rhyme
Posted on Sunday Mini-Challenge @ Real Toads
& Posted on the ‘Poetry Pantry’ @ Poets United
60 Responses
Age is like climbing a summit… I like that… the wider we see (but the further we fall)
Thank you so much, Bjorn 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤
Love that second stanza Sanaa! So beautiful and so very true!!
Thank you so much, Carrie 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤
This is very introspective, the thoughts and the rhymes work well together.
Thank you so much, Kerry 😀 so good to see you ❤
I like the play on words in:
‘…a faint violet–inviolate as though free
from desecration and blind rage’
and the idea that age is like climbing a summit:
‘the further we climb the clearer our views get’.
Thank you so much, Kim 😀 so glad you liked it ❤
I loved how you worked the required rhyming pattern Sanaa, and how well the narrator’s feelings are conveyed in the poem.
Thank you so much, Robin 😀 so good to see you ❤
A wonderful meditation on age and writing
Thank you so much, Jae 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤
We live, we learn. Sometimes that learning is touched by sadness, but sadness has its own lessons to teach too.
Definitely 😊 thanks for stopping by, Rommy ❤
Whoosh! I like this, too. The rhymes and lines are so subtle that I had to work to find the chain, a good thing! I particularly love shadow/espresso and tortured orchard! 🙂 And the second paragraph, I can relate. Really nice, Sanaa.
Aww gosh!❤ Thank you so much, Marian 😊 so glad you enjoyed it!❤
(and thank you for the lovely prompt)
” Age, she thought was like climbing a summit,
the further we climb the clearer our views get.
Forget the one who hurt you yesterday
because lives fade like a passing shadow. ”
Those are among my favorite words of yours written, Sanaa.
I think you have expressed this concept so very well. And we do
have to forget those who hurt us in the past….and move on!
Thank you so much, Mary 😊 so glad you liked it ❤
I’m climbing the summit of which you speak in your poem: age, old age. Ah…
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I love “Age, she thought was like climbing a summit,
the further we climb the clearer our views get.” So true.
Thank you so much, Sherry 😀 so glad you liked it ❤
“Lives fade like a passing shadow” … love that phrase!
Thank you so much, Beverly 🙂 so good to see you ❤
Age is like climbing a summit – I’m not quite sure I want to reach it…Anna :o]
😉
I agree that the higher we climb, the clearer the view. But, age also allows us to stop and rest more, which also allows for a wider perspective,
Elizabeth
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, Elizabeth ❤
Lovely. Your poems are always rich with imagery and emotion. 😊
Thank you so much, Loredana 😀 so good to see you ❤
Forget the one who hurt you yesterday
because lives fade like a passing shadow.
These lines are a reminder that life is short and we cannot change yesterday.
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, Truedessa ❤
The first stanza is lovely in its ambiguity and richness, especially the ending lines. The implications of the “as if”, which does’t tell us directly that the sky has been desecrated, but still leaves us thinking maybe… but hopefully, not.
Aww gosh!❤ Thank you so much, Magaly 😀 so glad you enjoyed it!❤
I tend to find the further I climb the more knackered I get 😉
😉
Beautiful, especially the second stanza–the introspection feels so natural here–
Thank you so much, Audrey 😀 so glad you liked it ❤
Age depicted beautifully in your comparison to climbing a summit. Lovely poem.
Thank you so much, Sara 😀 so glad you liked it ❤
Another beautiful piece, The second stanza, in particular, I found to be utterly transcendent, Sanaa. So insightful … brilliant, really.
Thank you so much, Wendy 😀 so glad you liked it ❤
“Age, she thought was like climbing a summit” – I think I’m picking up speed down the other side. 🙁
😮
“Forget the one who hurt you yesterday” ..this is so wonderfully wise 😊 Often it is that our entire life is wasted brooding upon past relationships and woes.
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, Chris ❤
“inviolate as though free from desecration and blind rage” ..that is beyond beautiful, girl!💖
Thank you so much, Jane 😀 so glad you liked it ❤
elegantly done! so many lovely lines in the poem.
i like what you said about age is like climbing a summit.
Thank you so much, dsnake 😀 so good to see you ❤
I think you are right, with age, the view is no more true, but it is clearer.
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Nice, but almost heart-breaking to me, Sanaa. I think she found that “(some)lives (don’t) fade like a passing shadow.” I have several that didn’t, I started writing a blog memoir about them but put it on hold long ago. It is at
http://jimmielife1.blogspot.com/
..
Thank you so much, Jim ☺️ so glad you liked it ❤️
What an arresting first line! And then you build on it to create this intriguing picture and story. Beautiful use of language, as always.
Aww gosh❤️ Thank you so much, Rosemary☺️ so glad you enjoyed it❤️
lovely. I love that line “because lives fade like a passing shadow.”
Thank you so much, MNL 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤
“Age, she thought was like climbing a summit,
the further we climb the clearer our views get.”
If so, then i’m ready to climb even higher
much love…
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, Gillena ❤
much love…