Demure

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I admit sometimes I can be demure
please endure
As I reach to find appropriate words
vocal cords
And when I do shall surely say
night and day
Your passion takes my breath away
And though its difficult, shall say it still
I’m drawn towards your sweetest skill
So please endure vocal cords night and day.

 

 

Photo credits: favim.com

Form: Ovillejo

Posted for Meeting the Bar @ dVerse Pub

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Comments

  1. Mary says:

    A beautiful poem of love!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello Mary,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 😀
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 🙂
      xoxo

  2. Misky says:

    a lovely poem.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello Misky,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 😀
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 🙂
      xoxo

  3. You rocked the form, & gave us a lovely romantic poem to boot; made me smile, remembering those bygone days.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello Glenn,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a great week ahead.

  4. Grace says:

    This is a sweet write Sanaa ~ Hard to be demure when you want to say a lot of things to someone you like ~

    My comment on the form will be the last line – you need to repeat lines 2, 4 & 6 ~

    Thanks for joining us and wishing you a wonderful week ~

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello Grace,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 🙂
      xoxo

      PS: Thanks for the kind advice 🙂

  5. Hi, Sanaa. This is indeed a beautiful love poem.
    Grace is right, though…for a true Ovillejo, your last line should repeat lines 2, 4 and 6.
    I think you could tweak this just slightly, and have a perfect Ovillejo. 🙂

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello De Jackson,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a great week ahead.

      PS: I ll try and tweak it 🙂

      1. It’s tough the first couple of attempts. I remember wanting to throw my whole thing out the window. Then something just sort of clicks. You’ll get it. You’ve got so much great work here to make it happen.

  6. PS: Lines 5, 6 and 7 should rhyme. I do think “swear” works as a good slant rhyme, if that was your intent…but letting you know, in case a more traditional rhyme on line 7 helps the end for you.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello De,

      Well I tried it out. Changed it quite a bit 🙂
      Hope I got it right now.

      1. Yay! See! Awesome!
        I really LOVE your slant rhyme with words/cords. Wonderful.
        And I have seen many poets add one word to the last line like you have. I think it works well, and keeps the form from becoming…formulaic. You know?

        I think this has all of the great qualities of the original poem, but now fits the form. Well done!

        1. Sanaa says:

          Hello De,

          Thank you so much for guiding me through 🙂
          Highly appreciated, lots of love 😀
          xoxo

          PS YAY 😀

          1. Grace says:

            Love the end product…wow!

          2. Sanaa says:

            Hello Grace,

            Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 😀
            Highly appreciated, lots of love 🙂
            xoxo

  7. This is very sweet yet deep at the same time. I like that you used unexpected rhyming words in this. Peace, Linda

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello Linda,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a great week ahead.

  8. Debi says:

    Very romantic.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello Debi,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 😀
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 🙂
      xoxo

  9. Candy says:

    sweet,sweet love – how lovely

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello Candy,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 😀
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 🙂
      xoxo

  10. sreeja says:

    So lovely…full of love!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello Sreeja,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a great week ahead.

  11. Marina Sofia says:

    A sweet plea for patience and time…

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello Marina,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 😀
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 🙂
      xoxo

  12. Bjorn says:

    To be demure … to be silent… such difficulties to express your feelings when they are needed….

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello Bjorn,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a great week ahead.

  13. Mary says:

    Sanaa, came back a second time to see if you had fixed the form a bit. I see you have! I knew you would…as you are good with forms. Smiles! Really nice now.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello Mary,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a great week ahead.

      PS: That was really sweet of you 🙂

  14. Lillian says:

    Love the photo, love the sweet sweet words here. You’ve conquered the form in a lovely way!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello Lillian,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 😀
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 🙂
      xoxo

  15. Gayle Walters Rose says:

    You did great with the form, Sanaa. I didn’t see it before it got “tweaked” but seems it clicked for you and it came out great. You are a romantic that’s for sure. 🙂

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello Gayle,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a great week ahead.

  16. vb holmes says:

    Your tender words go so well with the photo–lovely.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello VB,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a great week ahead.

  17. Bryan Ens says:

    Loved the last line…you give the feel that you are shy until you really get to know someone…and then you like to talk 🙂

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello Bryan,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a great week ahead.

  18. Sumana Roy says:

    This is very sweet, romantic and deep…lovely Sanaa…

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello Sumana,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 😀
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 🙂
      xoxo

  19. SMiLes.. most aMaZing
    pArts of mY liFe
    are both living
    stone cold
    shy
    and
    Sun out
    B r i G h t
    to find out
    how
    both
    sides
    truLy live..
    Sun out iS OMG
    so much more fun
    iN liGht.. i’LL
    never go
    cOld
    stone
    again..:)

    1. Sanaa says:

      Hello Katie,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a great week ahead.

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