White in the shadows, I see your face
lost amid morose musings that yearn
to slip into the maddening brain.
Loneliness washes over me as waves
yet I dare not whisper nor lower my
gaze. I am tired of echoes and sugar-
coated tales.
Oh how is it that my reflection stared
back at me fiery and full of sedulous
grace, I didn’t know what I was doing
nor what was about to take place.
The night although serene did frown,
as I gestured to trees and swaggering
crows; there’s a shift in the way great
wind blows.
You were mine fresh as a budding rose
with folded arms oh unawakened eyes,
which I sought to devour beneath the
trembling sky.
Photo credits: Pinterest
Shay invites us to write a spooky poem, I chose to play along the theme
of a Doppelganger.
Posted for ‘Fireblossom Friday’ @ Real Toads
and on ‘Open Link Night’ @ dVerse Poets Pub
50 Responses
This is very nicely done, Sanaa. The tone of the speaker perfectly conveys both the attraction to and the fear of the doppelganger.
Thank you so much, Kerry 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Beautiful piece, Sanaa. I especially like the following lines,
Oh how is it that my reflection stared
back at me fiery and full of sedulous
grace,
Often the other side of darkness is perceived to be scary. Brilliant write!
Thank you so much, Khaya 😀 so good to see you ❤️
A very well penned piece which offers up that insight into how attractive and seductive the ‘other’ side can be.
Thank you so much, Paul 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
Wow, you really tried a new angle with this, and it worked beautifully! See, I knew you could do it! The atmosphere is so unusual. I really like this, Sanaa!
Aww! ❤️ Thank you so much, Shay 😀 so glad you enjoyed it! ❤️
(and thank you for the lovely prompt)
I love it when you let the dark and sensuous out. So many images and feelings, such an exploration… and the magic is wonderful–I can see/feel the wind being bent by the speaker’s will, the spell taking place under a sky made for it.
Aww gosh!❤ Thank you so much, Magaly 😊 so glad you enjoyed it!❤
I love it when you write spooky… a doppelgänger would be like fearing your own shadow i think… (or maybe it is)
Thank you so much, Bjorn 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
There is a listlessness to your poem, Sanaa, as well as darkness in the shadows and the the maddening brain, and in the tiredness of echoes and sugar-coated tales. And the final stanza is so threatening:
‘You were mine fresh as a budding rose
with folded arms oh unawakened eyes,
which I sought to devour beneath the
trembling sky’!
Thank you so much, Kim 🙂 so good to see you ❤️
It did sound restless, or wistful. My favourite line was “I am tired of echoes and sugar-
coated tales.”- maybe this is how I am feeling today too.
Thank you so much, Alison 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
Morose musings seem to go with a maddening brain.
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, Frank ❤️
The dark side is so seductive, and your journey is so sensual–I read it as an erotic encounter. I, too, was hooked by the /fiery sedulous grace/.
Thank you so much, Glenn 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Sounds like looking for love in all the wrong places. “Swaggering crows” … love that!
Thank you so much, Beverly 🙂 so good to see you ❤️
“There’s a shift in the way great wind blows.” This is a different voice for you, and I really like it. Your closing lines are just right. So well done!
Thank you so much, Sherry 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Oh I love this Sanaa!!
Thank you so much, Carrie 😀 so good to see you ❤️
So beautifully descriptive Sanaa, and so easy to picture the scene and I loved “You were mine fresh a budding rose…”
Thank you so much, Robin 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
I think you’ve put a new twist on this one. I really like the following. I can feel the shift in the wind.
The night although serene did frown,
as I gestured to trees and swaggering
crows; there’s a shift in the way great
wind blows.
Thank you so much, Truedessa 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Ah, beautiful flow and imagery Sanaa. ❤️
Thank you so much, Maria 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
Ah! what an enchanting piece and the concluding stanza is amazing…want more of this poem….
Thank you so much, Vandana 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Really captures the obsessive madness in a darker love affair. For some reason I thought of vampires but I could not decide if the speaker was a vampire driven mad with blood lust or a vampire’s victim, craving the bite even while knowing it will hurt them. Really cool Sanaa!
Thank you so much, Rommy 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
The poem speaks volumes .. perfect picture you chose!
Thank you so much, Nimue 😊 so glad you liked it ❤
Exquisite! I loved the abstractness of this.
Thank you so much, Mosk 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Is there such a thing as gentle darkness in someone? This reads this way to me. Lovely..
Thank you so much, Susie 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
“Gesturing to trees and crows”….perhaps a dream? And then a feast “beneath the trembling sky.”
Definitely 😉 thanks for stopping by, Annell ❤️
“Loneliness washes over me as waves”.. sigh .. this is such a poignant image!
Thank you so much, Jane 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
This is unusually dark coming from you! I love how you depict the seductive side of darkness in your poem.
Thank you so much, Chris 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Is it weird that I didn’t find this spooky? I was more captivated and intrigued than anything… I was drawn into your words as Narcissus was drawn into his own reflection. (That probably says more about me than anything else, but still…)
White in the shadows, I see your face
lost amid morose musings that yearn
to slip into the maddening brain.
Loneliness washes over me as waves
yet I dare not whisper nor lower my
gaze. I am tired of echoes and sugar-
coated tales.
Exceptional writing here.
Thank you so much, Barry 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️