Beneath dimly lit obsidian sky
Whisper my name
Hear the wind sing softly into your ear
Address your mind
Tonight I wish to peruse and embrace
With new delight
Oh corners of your luscious brooding lips
I long to cite
There’s theory about you yet to be proved
And brought to light
Love, whenever inspiration runs dry
I turn to you
I’d never stop for moment to appraise
Were it not for subtle hint in your gaze
I picture you beneath stars in silence
And find myself
Wanting you in ways indescribable
Truly, madly
I taste longing and hold it in my mouth
You’re the cause
There’s no denying when its plain desire
Its fervent laws
Determined I let out sigh in the dark
Oh briefest pause
You and I’ll be dangerously aligned
No matter what
At last the hour comes melding night and dawn
The spell is broken and feeling is gone.
Photo credits: Pinterest
Form: Cavatina
Posted on Sunday Mini-Challenge @ Real Toads
& Posted on the poetry pantry @ Poets United
54 Responses
Your take on the form is so interesting, Sanaa! I really like it, kind of becomes epic, and full of desire. Nice.
Thank you so much, Marian 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
(and thank you for the lovely prompt)
Romantic and dreamy, Sanaa. I like the rhymes and the emotion in the lines:
‘I taste longing and hold it in my mouth
You’re the cause
There’s no denying when its plain desire
Its fervent laws’
and the rhyming couplet:
‘At last the hour comes melding night and dawn
The spell is broken and feeling is gone’.
Thank you so much, Kim 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Interesting, sort if form. I am not seeing your rhyming lines though?
Thank you so much, Toni 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
You have managed the form so well, Sanaa. I especially like the resolution in the closing lines.
Thank you so much, Sherry 😀 so good to see you ❤️
At last the hour comes melding night and dawn
The spell is broken and feeling is gone.
What a relief! Persistence works obviously, Sanaa!
Hank
Definitely 😀 thanks for stopping by, Hank ❤️
“I taste longing and hold it in my mouth” What more could be said of desire or love? Beautiful, Sanaa.
Thank you so much, Sumana 😀 so good to see you ❤️
Ah, so sensuous and delectable — I love the cadence and vibrations through the lines; it’s so evocative.
A lovely rhythm. Also, the indescribable melancholy of separation and the end of that fleeting experience/emotion is well expressed in that ending couplet.
Thank you so much, Anmol 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Wonderfully intense. You capture the moment of love and loss perfectly
Thank you so much, Jae 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
How could you lose that feeling at dawn Sanaa? What a beautiful read and I especially like the “subtle hint in your gaze”. I do love your romantic verse..
Lol just for variation, Robin 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
This is an interesting form for narrative poetry. I like the way you worked with it.
Thank you so much, Kerry 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
Such a romantic poem, Sanaa, but then in the end it seems like the feeling is gone when dawn comes. So it all seems a dream, but beautiful while it lasted.
Thank you so much, Mary 😀 so good to see you ❤️
Ah youth and the intensity that they bring to all things, even if it turns out only to be a one night stand. It does sound like a hell of a night though.
Definitely 😀 thanks for stopping by, Rommy ❤️
this was a beautiful love letter to your beloved. it was so passionately written. great write!
Thank you so much, Jim 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
sensual, playful and teasing – especially like
“Address your mind
Tonight I wish to peruse and embrace
With new delight”
Thank you so much, Laura 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
No, feelings like that don’t last long, yet might return without warning.
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, Annell ❤️
I love the motif and its implication, the joy of knowing that a poet can always find inspiration in a particular person, thing, feeling… even when the muse is feeling feisty. Yummy.
Aww gosh! ❤️ Thank you so much, Magaly 😍 so glad you enjoyed it! ❤️
Beautifully passionate!
Thank you so much, Rosemary 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
So Intense and beautiful 🙂
Thank you so much, Purba 😀 so good to see you ❤️
Dangerous alignments…love that phrase and the way the entire poem seems to shift and move. 🙂
Thank you so much, Chrissa 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
Sanaa, I feel for the writer upon reading those last two lines. Two thoughts came to mind , first being “‘the end of a one night stand.” The other is that of a budding romance showing personal restraint, and “what next, will these feelings return?”
A nice write, it held my attention well. Thank you.
..
Thank you so much, Jim 🙂 so good to see you ❤️
Passionate scarlet becomes a pale watercolor in the dawn. Great while it lasts! Love this, Sanaa.
Thank you so much, Sara 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
The word-weaving in this is stunning. A joy to read!
Thank you so much, Wendy 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
This is wonderfully passionate! Love the rhyming and emotions in these lines: ‘I taste longing and hold it in my mouth. You’re the cause. There’s no denying when its plain desire. Its fervent laws’
Thank you so much, Amara 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
how well you captured love and loss.
an interesting form. the rhymes work very well. 🙂
Thank you so much, Lee San 😀 so good to see you ❤️
Marvellous poem. Cavatina suits you.
Thank you so much, Cressida 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
I always adore your love poems- sublime!
Thank you so much, Vivian 😀 so good to see you ❤️
… and in the morning it all looks and feels differently. It builds up with high expectations… but alas.
Alas indeed.. sigh..❤️ thanks for stopping by, Margaret 😀