In reply to Marion Strobel

Life, it’s said is as though a paper white, 
in which the heart is full, 
where duskier lips await the long night– 
to prove it’s beautiful. 

And fate, is described to be softly round,  
oh, I wish to run, slide– 
have my thoughts attain significant ground– 
to be sharp and lynx-eyed,  

I laugh, for life is a perfect storm too! 
I wish to express most  
ardently—to blossom and burn in blue  
lest I become a ghost. 

Oh life! With its dark and delicious heat, 
says we can have it all– 
drown despair into sea, now isn’t that sweet? 
I trust; but rain must fall.  

 

 

 

 

 

Photo credits: Pinterest

Laura is our lovely hostess at dVerse tonight, where she invites us to write
by borrowing end rhymes from a published poem.

I chose to employ a syllabic alternate rhyme pattern poem of 10/6 in reply 
to Full-Blown by Marion Strobel 💘

Posted for MTB: Four-line alternate rhyme scheme @dVerse Pub 

Comments

  1. I enjoyed your reply to Marion Strobel, Sanaa! Your use of punctuation is very effective, as are the following lines:
    ‘…, I wish to run, slide–
    have my thoughts attain significant ground–
    to be sharp and lynx-eyed’.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Kim 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️

  2. Sanaa you did wonders with Strobel’s rhymes- the syllabic count gave a different sound but so too the theme of this poem – Life, Fate and the poet’s wishes pushing against it so sensuously
    “where duskier lips await the long night–
    to prove it’s beautiful. “

    1. Sanaa says:

      Awww gosh! Thank you so much, Laura 😍 so glad you liked it! 💄❤️

      (and thank you for the lovely prompt) 🌹

  3. msjadeli says:

    Wonderful philosophy to know that, despite rain falling, we *can* have it all. Very enjoyable read, Sanaa.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Lisa 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️

  4. Gillena Cox says:

    “drown despair into sea, now isn’t that sweet?
    I trust; but rain must fall.”

    Were we to experience only happiness. Maybe still there would be tears, for what is a human without a tear.

    Much💖love

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Gillena 😀 so glad the poem and its imagery appealed to you 💄❤️

  5. paeansunplugged says:

    A beautiful write, Sanaa. You created very interesting contrasts with the end rhymes of Strobel. Love it. ❤️❤️

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Punam 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️

  6. M Jay Dixit says:

    Amazing and so beautiful! Btw I’ve chosen the same poem for the end rhymes too.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Jay 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️

  7. Sarah Connor says:

    I love that ending. The poem works really well – the rhyming doesn’t show through, if you know what I mean!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Sarah 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️

  8. Kerfe says:

    I really like the idea of lynx-eyed thoughts.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Kerfe 😀 so glad you liked it! 💄❤️

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