As deep as breath goes

Spread the love

No softeners required, lemon or lime my ecstasy
my medication as I pace along lines
of the mind’s track field–
the muse knows nothing of the promise of tomorrow
nor predicts slow opening of your eyes,
your groans bittersweet
as cinnamon sweet and savory all at the same time–
still making me grin
your eyes dark as olive give away hints of a night
ungovernable,
let them trace my back and dust it red
as moonlight dances and touches upon the shelves–
I have waited too long
for expressions of your chocolate onyx want,
I want the song; I want the song.

 

Photo credits: The works of Miles Johnston, Pinterest

Word List: Onyx, Groan, Lemon, Shelves, Cinnamon.

Posted for “Get Listed with a Mystery Guest” @ Real Toads

Posted on Pantry of Poetry and Prose @ Poets United

Comments

  1. Jae Rose says:

    Such a heartfelt plea and stunning imagery – truly beautiful

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Jae πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  2. Lily says:

    This is so true: “the muse knows nothing of the promise of tomorrow”

    I am insane over this part: “your eyes dark as olive give away hints of a night
    ungovernable”

    “I have waited too long
    for expressions of your chocolate onyx want,
    I want the song; I want the song.” … WOW!!! I want way more letters to express my excitement over that ending, but it would seem silly, I suppose, to say “WWWWWOOOOOWWWWW.” Oh well, I’ve gone and done it anyhow. πŸ™‚

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Lily πŸ˜€ so glad the poem resonated with you ❀️

  3. Kerry says:

    your groans bittersweet
    as cinnamon sweet and savory all at the same time–

    I love the sense of contrast you have attained in this poem. It is a very sensual write.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Kerry πŸ˜€ so glad you enjoyed it ❀️

  4. ” let them trace my back and dust it red”

    This line left me wondering about the nature of this red. I can’t tell if it’s a good thing–a blush–or a not so good thing–like blood–but whatever it might be, it certainly caught my attention.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Magaly πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  5. Debi Swim says:

    “your groans bittersweet
    as cinnamon sweet and savory ” wow, very sensual. Magaly Guerrero, I’m thinking a blush and a flush

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Debi πŸ˜€ so glad the poem resonated with you ❀️

  6. Bjorn Rudberg says:

    Oh this is so filled with yearning… I found this as well in the words, but not a song quite like this.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Bjorn πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  7. Toni Spencer says:

    A very sensual write!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Toni πŸ˜€ so good to see you ❀️

  8. All yummy and gorgeous as usual – and I particularly love that final repetition, beautifully used.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Rosemary πŸ˜€ so glad you enjoyed it ❀️

  9. Old Egg says:

    Everyone seems happy with the way you manipulate your words to produce another stellar performance from you Sanaa. What an oustanding poem this is.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Robin πŸ˜€ so good to see you ❀️

  10. Margaret says:

    The senses are certainly tickled here – taste and smell – they aren’t easy to convey and you did it masterfully with the longing and passion!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Margaret πŸ˜€ so glad the poem resonated with you ❀️

  11. Thotpurge says:

    Nice image of the lines
    of the mind’s track field–!!!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Rajani πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  12. Love the yearning for the chocolate onyx, the want for the song.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Colleen πŸ˜€ so glad you enjoyed it ❀️

  13. Rall says:

    Erotic and sensual. A poem of deep longing…unrequited love.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Rall πŸ˜€ so good to see you ❀️

  14. Rommy says:

    So much want and hunger flowing in your words. It almost feels like an addiction in spots.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Rommy πŸ˜€ so glad the poem resonated with you ❀️

  15. Ah, I LOVE those closing lines. I want the song…………wonderful.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Sherry πŸ˜€ so glad you enjoyed it ❀️

  16. “a night ungovernable…I want the song” – just brilliant, Sanaa.

    1. Jim says:

      ,Sanaa that other sounds ‘wishywashy’ to me:
      “your groans bittersweet
      as cinnamon sweet and savory all at the same time–”
      and
      “nor predicts slow opening of your eyes,”
      Then it goes on yet she ,,,,
      ..
      I was pretty sure I had left a comment the day you posted but since it wasn’t her maybe I only read and had planned to come back later.
      ..

      1. Jim says:

        I had intended a person before t the comma that would identify the “wishy-washy” other.
        I certainly don’t want you or your readers that i am saying your writing was wishy-washy.
        ..

        1. Sanaa says:

          Thank you so much, Jim πŸ˜€ so glad the poem resonated with you ❀️

    2. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, H. Hennenburg πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  17. Love, love this! Every line and image–the want is palpable

  18. Truedessa says:

    Sing on…the muse only knows now…

    the muse knows nothing of the promise of tomorrow

  19. Sara McNulty says:

    “The muse knows nothing of the promise of tomorrow” – Time to move out on your own, not waiting for the right time. Beautiful, Sanaa!

  20. I hope you get to sing your song someday. Your words are like floating down a slow river, your words are cool breezes from the mountains down to this peasant. I enjoy sharing your words with others, thank you.

  21. “your eyes dark as olive give away hints of a night ungovernable” Oh, I love that line. So many rich images in your poem. Beautiful!

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