A tribute response to Jane Hirsfield’s poem, “Poem Holding Its Heart In One Fist.”
And sometimes it’s better to counsel with our hearts
alone.
I have found that pink buds are perfect within
and destined to open.
Perhaps it’s the inclusion of personal pronouns
in daily life–
of singular I, me
and plural we, us.
A few more days of warmth and it would bloom
one need only be patient.
Even cherries as luscious as lips bear secrets,
no matter how swift we wish to extract
its nectar
ease out carefully using a chopstick
and the pit should fall through into the bottle.
As soon bathe in eucalyptus mineral bath salt
let go of the past
it’s searing worries and pain augmented
there are few things in this world that are better left
unsaid.
Yet, twilight disappeared over the horizon
the last vestiges of gutsy purple
robbing me of what little courage I had left
I stand with my soul stripped for the perusal of night.
This poem after several years of growing up
and wisdom
shall laugh and ponder upon with unrestrained tears
cherishing every moment.
Photo credits: Pinterest
Posted for Kerry’s Challenge @ Real Toads
And on Open Link Night @ dVerse Poets Pub
58 Responses
Perhaps it’s the inclusion of personal pronouns
in daily life–
of singular I, me
and plural we, us.
This really wins me over, Sanaa.. I love the reference to the grammar of poetry itself, and all your remarkably rich images throughout. This is a real delight.
Thank you so much, Kerry 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
(and thank you for the lovely prompt) 🌹
I really like the idea of a poem growing up and laughing at itself. I love the same when it happens to people, too. 🙂
Yayyyy! ❤️ Thank you so much, Magaly 😀 so glad the words resonated with you! ❤️
(I can’t wait to read this poem after 10 years) 🌹
The last four lines of this wonderful poem is a grand tribute to this remarkable poet. Lovely.
Thank you so much, Toni 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
You are a loving and giving person, Sanaa, who needs romance in her life, which is encapsulated in the lines:
‘Perhaps it’s the inclusion of personal pronouns
in daily life–
of singular I, me
and plural we, us’.
It’s not only the poem that ‘after several years of growing up
and wisdom / shall laugh and ponder’ – it’s the poet too.
Thank you so much, Kim 😍 so good to see you ❤️
I love Magaly’s comment and your reply. I look back now at poems i wrote when i was young and am amazed that i knew things and expressed them in my poems that i was not consciously aware of. Sometimes we know without knowing we know. A wonderful poem.
Thank you so much, Sherry 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Oh, the images and allusions here are something to cherish — the personal in the poem as well as the poet emerges in such a tender manner. I’m smiling at these lines:
“no matter how swift we wish to extract
its nectar/ease out carefully using a chopstick/and the pit should fall through into the bottle.”
A lovely verse, Sanaa! 💙😊
Awww gosh! ❤️ Thank you so much, Anmol 😀 so glad you liked it! ❤️
The passage of time alters our feelings. In ten months hopefully not ten years., you’ll be laughing.
Definitely 😀 thanks for stopping by, Cressida ❤️
“As soon bathe in eucalyptus mineral bath salt
let go of the past
it’s searing worries and pain augmented
there are few things in this world that are better left
unsaid.” I love this. I wanted to post the whole poem here because, well, I love all of it. You are blossoming into a marvelous poet.
Awww gosh! ❤️ Thank you so much, Susie 😀 so glad you enjoyed it! ❤️
Luv the maturing aspect of the poet and the ability to look back with laughter. Perfect!
Much😊love
Thank you so much, Gillena 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
Much❤️love
Nice thoughts, Sanaa. I hope some of poems grow up, mature, and are saved and read by a few of my kids, grandkids, great-grandkids, and on. My preacher friend gave me a hand bound book of mimeographed page poems he had written, they meant a lot though I’m not sure where to look for them now. Guess I’d better hurry and print some out.
..
Thank you so much, Jim 😀 so good to see you ❤️
I love the title, and this: Even cherries as luscious as lips bear secrets…
Thank you so much, Colleen 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Really really love the beginning with the pronouns…. the us, we you and I… this is what matters most
Thank you so much, Bjorn 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
/The last vestiges of gutsy purple/ snagged my interest. Nice premise here. I have been writing poetry for 60 years, and yes, some of the early stuff still holds up–but thanks to our fellowship at dVerse and elsewhere, I think my poetry is much improved, as I have snagged pieces of the many forms we have all tried–so 2,000 poems ago, the words are dusky gems in need of my more mature world view.
Thank you so much, Glenn 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Sigh. How do I write a comment, when the words are running away, to bathe in the sunlight of your words, Sanaa? Especially, as the sun hides away, in the gray cover gloom that’s winter, in southern Ontario.
Thank you so much, Therisa 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
This is a charming poem. It’s one of those rare pieces that will stick with me for a good long while. Good writing!
Awww gosh! ❤️ Thank you so much, Susan 😀 so glad you enjoyed it! ❤️
I specially admire the ending stanza; signs of maturity by the poet.
Thank you so much, Grace 😀 so good to see you ❤️
I suppose poems can be a reflec8of our youth. I love to look back at earlier ones with a different perspective. I believe in these words…”there are few things in this world that are better left
unsaid.”
Thank you so much, Michelle 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
That should read “reflection”. Oops.
❤️❤️❤️
A beautiful poem.. I liked this line….Even cherries as luscious as lips bear secrets,
Yes, we all have our pits…
Thank you so much, Dwight 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
This was fantastic! Great imagery and words. 🙂
Thank you so much, Arcadia Maria 😀 so good to see you ❤️
The last stanza steps outside for a moment. Reminds me of Frost’s poem about the road.
Thank you so much, Jade 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
I like how this starts–like it’s the middle of a conversation–and then ends with a reflection of how the poem has grown. I really like that last stanza.
And this: “Perhaps it’s the inclusion of personal pronouns
in daily life–
of singular I, me
and plural we, us.
A few more days of warmth and it would bloom
one need only be patient.”
Lovely poem!
Thank you so much, Merril 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
I really like the way you use color and form to evoke emotion.
Thank you so much, Kerfe 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
Good observation in the first line that the best counsel may come from the heart alone.
Thank you so much, Frank 😀 so good to see you ❤️
The first line and the shape of it are beautiful.
“And sometimes it’s better to counsel with our
hearts
alone. “
Thank you so much, Ruth 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
‘cherries as luscious as lips bear secrets’ is absolutely Shakespearean, Sanaa.
Thank you so much, Nora 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Oh, such a beautiful cascade of evocative images and portrayals of longing! I love this line, especially:
” Even cherries as luscious as lips bear secrets”
Thank you so much, Frank 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
Patience has its own rewards. The bud will bloom for sure.
Time is the healing factor. One day, everything will be clear! 🙂
Nice words.
Zero Tolerance For Misinformation – Anita
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, Anita ❤️
“one need only be patient”
This is true of so many situations, not the least of which is the blooming of flowers.
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, Linda ❤️