Variations of an ache dulled

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A sanguine collector, ache, comes often;
seeking to swallow what remains of a frosted heart
in one breath,
its venom thickening down the throat,
smearing rosier lips with mace— I have lost count,
as the clock strikes with precision,
the number of times
its predatory claws have made their way in, exploring
all that resides within; the sweet,
the sour and buried, creating a symphony that flows freely,
similar to cicada storms, to blueberry tinted kisses—
do we ever forget?

October, I give, but the quantity that I receive doubles;
silvered, this ache consumes,
urges me awake in the middle of the night,
in balanced harmony of virtue and savage sin—
I am human, feel me burn with fellowship
and with each poem,
naked realization, I offer not judgment but consolation—
proclaim me as assassin,
as I sift through broken hopes with a view
to rehabilitate; nothing else soothes, knowing
the other is torn.

I am somewhat conscious,
somewhat familiar with variations of an ache dulled,
the way we destroy ourselves is second to none,
a searing song
too visceral to smother, do we walk towards it in thirst,
in whisper, in confession, or in emotions unresolved?
Some days it hits hard, some days soft,
like gusts of wind,
like caffeinated tears, like foregone conclusions, in a way
when autumn leaves swirl in crimson-gold shades—
I am convinced
that ache exists to ultimately cleanse with its touch,
a little wicked, but in many ways wondrous.

 

 

 

 

Photo credits: Crop florists making floral arrangement by Amina Filkins

Ingrid hosts at dVerse Pub and invites us to revisit a time in life
when we have
felt pain and come out of the other side stronger.
Come join us! 💝

Posted for Poetics: from a place of pain @dVerse Poets Pub

Comments

  1. Bjorn Rudberg says:

    I love how you took the prompt to that dulling ache that keeps you awake at night… Maybe this is what always remains after the blunt pain of a heartbreak

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Bjorn 🙂 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️

  2. ingrid says:

    A spellbinding examination of the phenomenon of ache: whether it be desire, physical pain or heartache, it covers a broad spectrum, as you have so beautifully detailed here. I love the description of ache as ‘A sanguine collector’ – such a visceral image! ❤️

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Ingrid 🙂 so glad you liked it 💄❤️

      (and thank you for the glorious prompt) 🌹

  3. msjadeli says:

    It feels like an entity that overshadows all. I particularly like these lines:
    “I have lost count,
    as the clock strikes with precision,
    the number of times
    its predatory claws have made their way in, exploring
    all that resides within”

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Lisa 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️

  4. rog leach says:

    The line i am human watch me burn with fellowship made me feel the ache expressed i this poem

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Rog 🙂 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️

  5. Gillena Cox says:

    Yes indeed, how many times we find ourselves slipping back

    Happy Tuesday Sanaa

    Much💜love

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Gillena 😀 so good to see you 💄❤️

      Much love back..

  6. This one is a keeper, its words sear like branding irons into/onto naked pieces of cortex. So very well crafted, flawless flow. I liked “seeking to swallow what remains of a frosted heart, in one breath”. There is nothing pollyanna or forced sweetness, or inexorable lust here, just a Sage soothing the waters and drying the tears; thanks.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Glenn 🙂 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️

  7. Brendan says:

    Wondrous indeed and you led us there on a viscerally sharp and wild path.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Brendan 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️

  8. We have to learn how to let those aches cleanse as we “sift through broken hopes with a view to rehabilitate” The way you describe aches feels like bliss!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Tricia 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️

  9. A powerful poem of intense emotion…
    this ache consumes,
    urges me awake in the middle of the night,
    in balanced harmony of virtue and savage sin—

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Dwight 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️

  10. Kerfe says:

    “the way we destroy ourselves is second to none”–that spiral is what writing helps to pull us out of.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Kerfe 🙂 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️

  11. This is so therapeutic Sanaa. You write it as someone who has experienced much pain but has turned it into an understanding of the healing process. Wonderfully written. ☺️❤️

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Christine 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️

  12. Dora says:

    Sanaa,
    Like Ingrid, I found the opening image irresistible: ache as ‘a sanguine collector’ and the way you develop that imagery into one that exposes the pain, the intangible oppression that seeks one out at night. Wonderfully transposed from heart to pen.
    pax,
    dora

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Dora 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️

  13. K.Hartless says:

    Powerful imagery. Particularly enjoyed the caffeinated tears, charged with energy. Thanks for sharing this wisdom.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, K.Hartless 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️

  14. Mary Hood says:

    So much here. “proclaim me as assassin,
    as I sift through broken hopes with a view
    to rehabilitate; nothing else soothes, knowing
    the other is torn.”

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Mary 😀 so good to see you 💄❤️

  15. Punam says:

    Sanaa, I love how you use almost a tender tone while detailing the ache and the autumn imagery is exquisite. Love this. 💞💞

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Punam 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️

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