Raven’s cry is more or less likely to be believed;
it strikes
until its cursive plumage is mere murmurs of rawness
against the cloudless sky—
a little to the left,
tell me, how many aspects of the game are you willing
to throw shade upon?
Like dark fury that seeks to cross paths with coyotes,
I stake claim at the center,
I love that eloquence is twirling on its heels at my side—
deny me safety, deny me dwelling,
it’s quite clear as to where we are headed;
a couple more moves,
shoulder to shoulder,
as onlookers watch and then egotism too was gone.
Process note: I was thrilled after watching the Queen’s Gambit
on Netflix a few days ago, so much so that I decided to portray a chess move called “The Sicilian Defense,” in a poem. It’s an excellent defensive opening by black in a game of chess. I chose to use a raven both as metaphor and representation.
Photo credits: Fabian Perez Painting, Pinterest
Skylover Wordlist: Dwelling, aspect, eyes, raven, denies, below, shade, less, eloquent, cloudless 💝
Ravens bring things to people. We’re like that. It’s our nature.
We don’t like it. — Peter S. Beagle, A Fine and Private Place
Peter hosts at dVerse and invites us to consider opening lines.
Come join us! 💝
Posted for MTB: Opening lines @ dVerse Poets Pub
A poem that starts with a raven, Sanaa, what’s not to love? My favourite lines:
‘… its cursive plumage is mere murmurs of rawness
against the cloudless sky’
and
‘I love that eloquence is twirling on its heels at my side’.
This has to be an open-air game of chess.
Thank you so much, my dearest Kim 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️
I love how you used the title to set this in a metaphor of chess (at least that is what I thought) … and for me, the raven also means that someone plays black…
Excellent interpretation, Bjorn 😀 thank you so much, so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
Wouw! What not to Love!! Also, Beagle quote kept me confused for a time! ;-D
Thank you so much, Julian 😀 so good to see you 💄❤️
I love the opening with the raven–and the poem is so full of movement! Quite a game!
Thank you so much, Merril 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️
This is so lovely!
❤️❤️❤️
Interesting poem that you built around Beagle’s line, Sanaa.
Thank you so much, Lisa 🙂 so good to see you 💄❤️
At first I thought, oh this is about chess, but then I read on and realised that it’s about a much older game of strategy. This is alive with metaphors. Well done!
Yayyy! Thank you so much, Misky 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️
Very creative take on the prompt. The first word grabbed me, let alonethe first line. Well done!
Thank you so much, Susan 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
A couple more moves / shoulder to shoulder
This work is fine, Sanaa, from beginning to end. (I just recently saw the same movie last week, too!)
Thank you so much, Ron 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️
as a fan of edgar allen poe’s raven you grabbed me with the first word.
Thank you so much, Rog 😀 so good to see you 💄❤️
Courting done as chess, raven as trickster and rogue; this soars like so many blackbird songs (Joni Mitchell & the Beatles). It engages and teases us. fearing for the narrator, cheering for plausible romance. A sweet ride and spirited read. (Queen’s Gambit rules!)
Thank you so much, Glenn 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️
Sanaa, I binged this a few weeks ago. The opening line of your poem took me by both hands, and led me in.
Thank you so much, Helen 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
The raven did draw me in. Understood it a little more when I read about the chess move. My son is the chess expert. I ask him a lot of questions.
Thank you so much, Mary 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️
I love ravens, so I was in from the get go. Then to read it as a chess match- cool.
Thank you so much, D.Avery 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️
Wow. This is impressive on many levels. Great opening and you tell a story in so few words. I have watched The Queen’s Gambit series twice. You honored it so well.
Yayyy! Thank you so much, Alicia 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
I love the idea behind this, the raven as it strikes in a game of chess between two lovers, is so rich in metaphor. I haven’t seen the Queen’s Gambit but I’m gonna have to look it up now. Well written as always! 👏💞
Yayyyy! Thank you so much, Tricia 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️
Very nicely done Sanaa!
❤️❤️❤️
I thought of the game of Chess too when I read the title. Very deep, Sanaa. You carried the metaphor so well👏🏼
Thank you so much, Mrityunjay 🙂 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
Sanaa, you know what’s “funny”? It was the second line of your poem that hooked me 😀
(and I loved the whole thing!)
Yours,
David
Thank you so much, David 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️
I love your word-painting here, Sanaa – the characters, the imagery. The subtle interplay between the characters and/or the pieces. I love the artwork too!
Thank you so much, Ingrid 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️
I wondered about the ‘Sicilian’. Is it a chess move?
It most certainly is! Thank you so much, Jane 😀 so good to see you 💄❤️
Cracking opening and a plethora of metaphors, a skill game, err write!
Thank you so much, Kate 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️
“until its cursive plumage is mere murmurs of rawness
against the cloudless sky”
Pure poetry this…… (loved that series too)
Jim
Love the raven image in this poem, Sanaa!
“it strikes
until its cursive plumage is mere murmurs of rawness
against the cloudless sky—”
“I love that eloquence is twirling on its heels at my side—
deny me safety, deny me dwelling”
My personal two favorites!