November, when fields are tinged with both right and wrong

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When the night comes, they gather and speak as one
longing to touch
and feel with fingertips cold
as though to emphasize a point–
they fling the moon as an orange peel
savagely
into the fields every now and then.

Did the sourwood blush just now?
Did the wind just break in through the window?
I dare not wake, not lift my lashes lest I become a slave
to their rhythm,
their moans are gunfire that play on repeat.

There is something about the words that form
in the line of my mouth,
caffeinated tears that flow like November guilt,
these creatures come unbidden
silently admiring your language, your length and form.

I hear an incubus frantically pacing outside in the bushes
urging me to give in to lust,
I’ll come unguarded if you promise to destroy me
light my lips
in shades of scarlet and gold
as predictability is drowned by the bubbling of a stream–
keep me enticed
until the early morning, when shadows part and the world’s
bathed in light.
Can you feel the determination in my eyes?
Come now,
admit you are afraid.

 

 

Photo credits: Jolygram

Posted for Midweek Motif @ Poets United

Posted on ‘Open Link Night’ @ DVerse Pub

Comments

  1. Jae Rose says:

    What a haunting and powerful ending – sutiable for the time of year

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Jae 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️

  2. Sanna,

    I think your poem contains many of the ingredients that go to make-up November and this time of year. The sounds, lights and an inbuilt fear of the many meanings attached to it..you have captured it very well..

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Eileen 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️

  3. Jim says:

    Sanaa, you sound so endearing here. Ghosts aren’t afraid of you one bit and for sure you (you, the writer) aren’t afraid of them. I.e. I liked your ending a lot. Was “Casper the Friendly Ghost” still on your TV when you were growing up?
    ..

    1. Sanaa says:

      I definitely did, Jim 😀 and use to enjoy watching it with my friends. So glad the poem resonated with you ❤️

  4. gillena says:

    “they fling the moon as an orange peel
    savagely” this image made me soo sad. A haunting piece indeed, and yes very scary
    well done.

    Much💞love

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Gillena 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️

      Much 🌹🌷🌻 love

  5. You have captured an eerie mood in this poem to perfection, Sanaa. Did you mean lift your lashes? The incubus pacing is an awesome touch, as is “I’ll come unguarded if you promise to destroy me.” So well done!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Oops! ❤️ Yes ‘lift your lashes,’ thank you for pointing it out Sherry 😀 must have been a typing error. So glad you enjoyed the poem! ❤️

  6. Toni Spencer says:

    A very haunting poem Sanaa!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Toni 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️

  7. frightening scary-just right

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Anjum 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you ❤️

  8. Clever title. I especially like the in-betweenness of it. Perfect for the season (of thin veils).

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Magaly 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️

  9. Old Egg says:

    What a beautiful and so imaginative poem to read Sanaa. The way your character stood up to the incubus probably shows your strength too!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Robin 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️

  10. First thought, Wow, I really like this.
    “caffeinated tears that flow like November guilt” and “…until the early morning, when shadows part and the world’s bathed in light” – I’ve been going back to these two thoughts for a while: tears and the transition of the shadow world at dawn and dusk.
    And again, this is very good. Thank you for creating this small world for us.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Stranded Tree 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you ❤️

  11. Susan says:

    Wow! I am awed! And a little afraid. I want to fling the orange peel moon!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Susan 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️

  12. I love the title, Sanaa, the idea of fields tinged with right and wrong, and the elusive ‘they’ in the first line, only implied or referred to as ‘creatures’. You have some wonderful imagery in this poem, for example, the similes ‘they fling the moon as an orange peel’ and ‘caffeinated tears that flow like November guilt’, and the metaphor ‘their moans are gunfire that play on repeat’ – although I think it should be ‘plays on repeat’.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Kim 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️

  13. Other Mary says:

    Perfect mood for the season. Your imagery is fresh and arresting.

    1. Sanaa says:

      ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  14. Sanaa- such stunning imagery with a dark and forbidding feel. Well done!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Linda 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️

  15. Bjorn Rudberg says:

    Oh … you really hit back to the critter… maybe the passionate incubus can only be conquered with a passion even greater.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Bjorn 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you ❤️

  16. Rob Kistner says:

    This is enticing, tension filled, and wonderfully sensual. Really great write Sanaa! Wow!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Rob 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️

  17. Coming in late, I can only add to the accolades. You are the mistress of sensual poetics, getting our pulses racing, leaving us breathless. I like the three lines Kim singled out, and I love thje sassy ending.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Glenn 😀 so good to see you ❤️

  18. Jade Li says:

    Your poem makes me wonder who is enchanting who. Things that go bump in the night are brought to life in your poem, Sanaa. Beautiful shadows that haunt.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Jade 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️

  19. Wow, such a wonderful mixture of eerie and enticing! Again, you employ the most luscious words and images to draw us right into your scenario.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Awwww gosh! ❤️ Thank you so much, Rosemary 😀 so glad you liked it! ❤️

  20. Barry says:

    I love this, especially the ending, where you flipped the haunting on its head. Also, your metaphors and visuals are amazing.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Barry 😀 so good to see you ❤️

  21. Well written haunting poem. I especially like the last stanza.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Arcadia Maria 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️

  22. Frank Hubeny says:

    Nice line: “caffeinated tears that flow like November guilt”

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Frank 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️

  23. Vivian Zems says:

    I love the sense of intrigue in this poem. The most powerful image is the one of the wind trying to break in through the window!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Vivian 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️

  24. the rights are wrongs come into focus then drift into another meaning, another question. The poem is like the breeze that lifts the curtain and touches all the places in the room, lightly and giving the reader some luscious lines
    “Did the sourwood blush just now?”
    “they fling the moon as an orange peel”
    “their moans are gunfire that play on repeat.”

    1. Sanaa says:

      Awwww gosh! ❤️ Thank you so much, Laura 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you! ❤️

  25. Kerfe says:

    I especially like the image of the wind breaking in through the window.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Kerfe 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️

  26. Love the dark mood, the vivid imagery in this.. beauitul

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Susie 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️

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