Though dismal dawning sky rebukes longing yet here I am,
in quiet fury hung discouragement loathing the way I am.
I believe darkness can dissipate with the flowering of light,
it’s impossible to go on between crossroads yet here I am.
We loved similar to the way one learns to become unafraid,
I wonder whether heartache understands the way I am.
Mournful winter how much longer until end of bloodbath?
surely world must know answer judging by how silent I am.
I stand hoping tears may convert into fulfillment of desires,
when sky comes falling you will know just how devout I am.
Photo credits: Giphy
Form: Ghazal
Process notes: Magaly invites us to craft poetry that wastes no words. I chose
to write combining two concepts together:
“I tell you this to break your heart, by which I mean only that it break open and never close again to the rest of the world.” ― Mary Oliver.
A stunning ghazal “Kab raat basar hogi,” by Faiz Ahmed Faiz where he longs for
love, peace and revolution.
Posted for Weekend Mini-Challenge @ Real Toads
and Posted on the Poetry Pantry @ Poets United
I’ve never read Faiz Ahmed Faiz, but I shall give the work a try one of these days…
Thank you so much, Magaly 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
(and thank you for the lovely prompt)
I thought the “English” in the link that leads us to “Kab raat basar hogi”, but no luck. No matter. I am back to say that I really like that middle stanza, all those raw emotions… which leave a reader wanting to hug the speaker really, really, really tight.
Awww gosh! ❤️ Thank you so much, Magaly 😀 so glad it resonated with you! ❤️
I can full agree on the wish for a more peaceful world.. lovely ghazal
Thank you so much, Bjorn 😀 so good to see you ❤️
Longing is painful when there is no guarantee of a reward for patience.
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, Rommy ❤️
Cold rain and yearning pair so magically. And what a perfecting final two lines. You continue to flower.
Awww gosh! ❤️ Thank you so much, Brendan 😀 so glad you enjoyed it! ❤️
“I am” is a beautiful strong affirmation. Beautifully composed.
Thank you so much, Helen 😀 so good to see you ❤️
“We loved similar to the way one learns to become unafraid”….what a cool line – and perceptive awareness – that is. And through it all, “here I am.” Learning and growing, and writing your journey. Cool.
Thank you so much, Sherry 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
This was quite beautiful Sanaa, plaintive and deep.
Thank you so much, Rob 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Yes. Let the wishes for a more peaceful world ring itself around us.
Definitely 😀 thanks for stopping by, Toni ❤️
You did a great job of combining two concepts together into a ghazal, Sanaa, and I like the Mary Oliver quotation. Your title reminded me of the Beatles song, ‘The long and winding road’: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fR4HjTH_fTM
I particularly like the lines:
‘I believe darkness can dissipate with the flowering of light,
it’s impossible to go on between crossroads yet here I am’
and
‘I stand hoping tears may convert into fulfilment of desires,
when sky comes falling you will know just how devout I am.’
Thank you so much, Kim 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
words when gathered so lightly and gently are so soothing.
Thank you so much, Marcoantonio 🙂 so good to see you ❤️
A most beautiful ghazal. “the flowering of light”…Love this.
Thank you so much, Sumana 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
I love the idea of darkness dissipating with the flowering of light. and the idea of tears converting into the fulfillment of desires. I also enjoyed the picture you chose as well!
Thank you so much, Mary 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
A truly lovely Ghazal Sanaa.
Thank you so much, Linda 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
I particularly love your closing couplet, Sanaa
Thank you so much, Mary 😀 so good to see you ❤️
Tears can do many things. They can cleanse. They can heal. And sometimes they can even turn into our heart’s desire. Tears. They aren’t as worthless as some people suppose.
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, MMT ❤️
A poem that rewards both several readings, for rhythm and the way you balance the ideas (dark/light and the crossroads, sadness and fury and therefore stillness and motion) and for the way the text brings you back to the image of a burning candle balanced between one already out and one not yet lit. Lovely.
Thank you so much, Chrissa 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
A beautiful ghazal – I especially adore the central stanza.
Thank you so much, Kerry 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
Judging by how silent I am… so powerful.
Thank you so much, Marian 😀 so good to see you ❤️
This is so beautiful in its affirmations and sense of being in the moment. Lovely!
Thank you so much, Vivian 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
The refrain of “I am” gives the words and poem strength.
I wonder whether heartache understands the way I am.
I too wonder…
Thank you so much, Truedessa 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
This is amazing! That last stanza is going to stay with me.
Thank you so much, Jenna 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
You covered a lot of ground in a short distant. Well done.
ZQ
Thank you so much, ZQ 😀 so good to see you ❤️
The yet brings so much reality into your poem. Yes we can have the faith and the hope and the trust. Yet the desolation and the longing sneaks up on us.
Hugs
Thanks for droppibg by my sumie Sunday today
Much💖💖💖love
Awww gosh! ❤️ Thank you so much, Gillena 😍 so glad you liked it! ❤️
Hugs
Much🌻🌼🌹love
I enjoyed reading this again Sanaa. The third couplet really struck me on this 2nd read. Falling in love is losing the fear, especially to give oneself wholly in love. Beautiful! I posted about the Ancients.
Thank you so much, Rob 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Tears and rain. You and winter seem one in the same.
Thank you so much, Colleen 😀 so good to see you ❤️
Beautiful writing, as always, Sanaa. And that lovely, poignant closing line: utterly linger-worthy … a wonderful – really superb – line of poetry.
Thank you so much, Wendy 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
A wistful, reflective piece. Nicely done.
Thank you so much, J.Cosmo 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Thank you for introducing me to ghazal and so beautifully. I am so weak on forms.
Thank you so much, Susie 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
wishing for peace is perhaps the best prayer
Definitely 😀 thanks for stopping by, M ❤️
I love this, Sanaa. There’s nothing like a Ghazal to repeat affirmations. I’m sure I commented on this earlier- but I’m not sure. I love that it’s simple- yet so revealing- I.e. .”…..I am”
Thank you so much, Vivian 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️