Like wisps of clouds are hours of sleep
ephemeral, and yet saccharine sweet.
As darkness piled on I began to sway,
with mind in motion as battle of waves.
And though the heart lapped with ease
I pondered on every rhythm and beat,
observed as moments grew austere
while gust outside roared loud and clear.
I reach out and chase hoping to achieve
if not enough then few hours of sleep,
As dawn swiveled on I began to sway
with mind in motion as battle of waves.
Photo credits: Pinterest
Posted for ‘Sanaa’s Challenge’ @ Real Toads
& Posted on Open Link Night @ dVerse Pub
46 Responses
The repetitive actions at “darkness piled” and “dawn swiveled” according to me made the writing more intense. A beautifully written piece, Sanaa 🙂
Thank you so much, Vijita 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
All too often, sleep is ephemeral as wisps of clouds. It is in this time poems sometime come to me as midnight epiphanies, so all is not lost!
Definitely ❤️ thanks for stopping by, Beverly 🙂
Oh sleep… sometimes it’s overrated, but so sweet when you are lulled away.
Thank you so much, Bjorn 🙂 so good to see you ❤️
You make insomnia beautiful with rhythm and rhyme!
Awww!❤️ Thank you so much, Lynn 🙂 so glad you liked it!❤️
You’ve done repetition here so well! The whole poem flows beautifully.
Thank you so much, Charlotte 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
I’m taken away by the flow of this dream
Thank you so much, Martin 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
I do think you’ve hit on a universal theme here–insomnia is not our friend. I just have to get up and watch TV or read a book until I get drowsy. Getting no sleep, or just a few hours, I recall, made the day at work nightmarish. I liked the subtleness of your rhyme scheme.
Thank you so much, Glenn 🙂 so good to see you ❤️
Swayed in just before the dawn. I know, happen to me a lot.
I specially admire this part:
As darkness piled on I began to sway,
with mind in motion as battle of waves.
Thank you so much, Grace 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
In your deft hands, insomnia is wrapped up beautifully in a comforting lullaby.
Thank you so much, Lynn 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
Very apt words, Sanaa, and I can empathize. I have mostly beat my insomnia so never despair, it is possible!
Awww!❤️ Thank you so much, Augustine 🙂 so good to see you!❤️
(the poem is not autobiographical)
Though insomnia does feel like a “battle of waves”, your poem has a beautiful ebb and flow.
Thank you so much, Jennifer 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
As usual, Sanaa, your flow is perfect.
🙂
😀
Wisps of cloud, ephemeral and saccharine sweet – yes, that’s sleep when you’re an insomniac. I love the way you capture the invasion of thought and sound:
‘I pondered on every rhythm and beat,
observed as moments grew austere
while gust outside roared loud and clear’.
Thank you so much, Kim 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
“with mind in motion as battle of waves” : The refrain captures the essence of the poem so well. If only insomnia too could be this poetic. A lovely piece, Sanaa.
Thank you so much, Anmol 🙂 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
I like the repetition in this, so very like the flow of the waves, almost a cascade poem.
Thank you so much, Jane 😊 so glad you liked it ❤
Well told. I know this so well!
Thank you so much, Petru 😊 so good to see you ❤
The last two lines describe every sleepless night I’ve ever had.
Thank you so much, Magaly 😊 so good to see you ❤
The form gives a wonderful flow to your words. Nicely done!
Thank you so much, Jilly 😊 so glad you enjoyed it ❤
I like the comparison of sleep with clouds.
Thank you so much, Jenna 😊 so glad you liked it ❤
I liked the repeating line: “with mind in motion as battle of waves” although I’m not clear what it means, but that might not matter.
Thank you so much, Frank 😊 so glad you liked it ❤
Beautifully written Sanaa and how easy to relate to that “swaying with mind in motion” as sleep eludes us.
Thank you so much, Robin 😊 so glad you liked it ❤
Lovely, Sanaa.
Thank you so much, Sarah 😊 so glad you liked it ❤