Near the end of a long and winding road
Sanaa -
January 19, 2019
Earlier PoemsPoetry

Though dismal dawning sky rebukes longing yet here I am, 
in quiet fury hung discouragement loathing the way I am. 

I believe darkness can dissipate with the flowering of light,
it’s impossible to go on between crossroads yet here I am.

We loved similar to the way one learns to become unafraid,
I wonder whether heartache understands the way I am. 

Mournful winter how much longer until end of bloodbath?
surely world must know answer judging by how silent I am.

I stand hoping tears may convert into fulfillment of desires,
when sky comes falling you will know just how devout I am.

 

Photo credits: Giphy

Form: Ghazal 

Process notes: Magaly invites us to craft poetry that wastes no words. I chose
to write combining two concepts together:

“I tell you this to break your heart, by which I mean only that it break open and never close again to the rest of the world.” ― Mary Oliver.

A stunning ghazal “Kab raat basar hogi,” by Faiz Ahmed Faiz where he longs for
love, peace and revolution. 

Posted for Weekend Mini-Challenge @ Real Toads

 

and Posted on the Poetry Pantry @ Poets United 

62 Responses

  1. Magaly Guerrero says:
    January 20, 2019 at 4:05 am

    I’ve never read Faiz Ahmed Faiz, but I shall give the work a try one of these days…

    Reply
    • Sanaa says:
      January 20, 2019 at 4:13 am

      Thank you so much, Magaly 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️

      (and thank you for the lovely prompt)

      Reply
      • Magaly Guerrero says:
        January 20, 2019 at 9:18 am

        I thought the “English” in the link that leads us to “Kab raat basar hogi”, but no luck. No matter. I am back to say that I really like that middle stanza, all those raw emotions… which leave a reader wanting to hug the speaker really, really, really tight.

        Reply
  2. Bjorn Rudberg says:
    January 20, 2019 at 4:53 am

    I can full agree on the wish for a more peaceful world.. lovely ghazal

    Reply
  3. Rommy says:
    January 20, 2019 at 5:19 am

    Longing is painful when there is no guarantee of a reward for patience.

    Reply
  4. Brendan says:
    January 20, 2019 at 5:59 am

    Cold rain and yearning pair so magically. And what a perfecting final two lines. You continue to flower.

    Reply
  5. Helen says:
    January 20, 2019 at 8:55 am

    “I am” is a beautiful strong affirmation. Beautifully composed.

    Reply
  6. Sherry Blue Sky says:
    January 20, 2019 at 9:04 am

    “We loved similar to the way one learns to become unafraid”….what a cool line – and perceptive awareness – that is. And through it all, “here I am.” Learning and growing, and writing your journey. Cool.

    Reply
  7. robtkistner says:
    January 20, 2019 at 9:58 am

    This was quite beautiful Sanaa, plaintive and deep.

    Reply
  8. Toni Spencer says:
    January 20, 2019 at 12:13 pm

    Yes. Let the wishes for a more peaceful world ring itself around us.

    Reply
  9. Kim M. Russell says:
    January 20, 2019 at 4:11 pm

    You did a great job of combining two concepts together into a ghazal, Sanaa, and I like the Mary Oliver quotation. Your title reminded me of the Beatles song, ‘The long and winding road’: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fR4HjTH_fTM
    I particularly like the lines:
    ‘I believe darkness can dissipate with the flowering of light,
    it’s impossible to go on between crossroads yet here I am’
    and
    ‘I stand hoping tears may convert into fulfilment of desires,
    when sky comes falling you will know just how devout I am.’

    Reply
  10. Marcoantonio Arellano says:
    January 20, 2019 at 6:09 pm

    words when gathered so lightly and gently are so soothing.

    Reply
  11. Sumana Roy says:
    January 20, 2019 at 7:47 pm

    A most beautiful ghazal. “the flowering of light”…Love this.

    Reply
  12. Mary says:
    January 20, 2019 at 9:13 pm

    I love the idea of darkness dissipating with the flowering of light. and the idea of tears converting into the fulfillment of desires. I also enjoyed the picture you chose as well!

    Reply
  13. Linda Lee Lyberg says:
    January 21, 2019 at 12:01 am

    A truly lovely Ghazal Sanaa.

    Reply
  14. Othermary says:
    January 21, 2019 at 12:41 am

    I particularly love your closing couplet, Sanaa

    Reply
  15. Magical Mystical Teacher says:
    January 21, 2019 at 1:02 am

    Tears can do many things. They can cleanse. They can heal. And sometimes they can even turn into our heart’s desire. Tears. They aren’t as worthless as some people suppose.

    Reply
  16. Chrissa says:
    January 21, 2019 at 3:18 am

    A poem that rewards both several readings, for rhythm and the way you balance the ideas (dark/light and the crossroads, sadness and fury and therefore stillness and motion) and for the way the text brings you back to the image of a burning candle balanced between one already out and one not yet lit. Lovely.

    Reply
  17. Kerry says:
    January 21, 2019 at 3:54 am

    A beautiful ghazal – I especially adore the central stanza.

    Reply
  18. Marian says:
    January 21, 2019 at 4:28 am

    Judging by how silent I am… so powerful.

    Reply
  19. Vivian Zems says:
    January 21, 2019 at 4:29 am

    This is so beautiful in its affirmations and sense of being in the moment. Lovely!

    Reply
  20. Truedessa says:
    January 21, 2019 at 4:50 am

    The refrain of “I am” gives the words and poem strength.

    I wonder whether heartache understands the way I am.

    I too wonder…

    Reply
  21. Revived Writer says:
    January 21, 2019 at 5:07 am

    This is amazing! That last stanza is going to stay with me.

    Reply
  22. ZQ says:
    January 21, 2019 at 6:48 am

    You covered a lot of ground in a short distant. Well done.
    ZQ

    Reply
  23. gillena says:
    January 21, 2019 at 7:00 am

    The yet brings so much reality into your poem. Yes we can have the faith and the hope and the trust. Yet the desolation and the longing sneaks up on us.
    Hugs
    Thanks for droppibg by my sumie Sunday today

    Much💖💖💖love

    Reply
  24. rob kistner says:
    January 21, 2019 at 7:33 am

    I enjoyed reading this again Sanaa. The third couplet really struck me on this 2nd read. Falling in love is losing the fear, especially to give oneself wholly in love. Beautiful! I posted about the Ancients.

    Reply
  25. Colleen@ LOOSELEAFNOTES says:
    January 21, 2019 at 9:21 am

    Tears and rain. You and winter seem one in the same.

    Reply
  26. Wendy Bourke says:
    January 21, 2019 at 9:38 am

    Beautiful writing, as always, Sanaa. And that lovely, poignant closing line: utterly linger-worthy … a wonderful – really superb – line of poetry.

    Reply
  27. J Cosmo Newbery says:
    January 21, 2019 at 4:51 pm

    A wistful, reflective piece. Nicely done.

    Reply
  28. Susie Clevenger says:
    January 22, 2019 at 5:41 am

    Thank you for introducing me to ghazal and so beautifully. I am so weak on forms.

    Reply
  29. M says:
    January 22, 2019 at 4:09 pm

    wishing for peace is perhaps the best prayer

    Reply
  30. Vivian Zems says:
    January 22, 2019 at 5:15 pm

    I love this, Sanaa. There’s nothing like a Ghazal to repeat affirmations. I’m sure I commented on this earlier- but I’m not sure. I love that it’s simple- yet so revealing- I.e. .”…..I am”

    Reply

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