I sought to kiss
but felt this wrong
now miss those times,
can we climb out
lest rhyme holds grudge-
I wipe smudge of
doubt, nudge you too.
I had a dream
moon’s first gleam spreads
yet seemed as dim.
Roses grim, wine
and whim of fate-
set me straight, I
feel weight of world.
What good is sleep
light or deep, love
come sweep me away-
cold and grey skies,
I stay and write
poems bright through
late night (till day).
Photo credits: Pinterest
Form: Than Bauk
Posted on ‘Sunday Mini-Challenge’ @ Real Toads
& Posted on the “Poetry Pantry” @ Poets United
& Posted on Monday Writes @ My Blog – Verses
50 Responses
Amazing! You worked this form like a pro, Sanaa and delivered a beautiful and memorable scene.
Thank you so much, Kerry 😀 I enjoyed writing this one!❤️
Sanaa. This is just gorgeous! Wow, wow. This part should maybe be a tattoo or something:
What good is sleep
light or deep, love
come sweep me away-
And I just love the parenthetical at the end. Swoon!❤️
Aww gosh!❤️ Thank you so much, Marian 😀 so glad you liked it!❤️
(and thank you for the lovely prompt)
Amazing… I could not make sense into the form… glad I did not read yours before going into this…
Thank you so much, Bjorn 🙂 it was quite a challenging form!❤️
Well done Sanaa
much love…
Thank you so much, Gillena 😊 so glad you liked it ❤
much love…
Beautifully melancholic! I thought to write more than one, but have an unfortunate tendency to pile on. It’s always an exercise for me to keep things simple.
Thank you so much, Cara 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
Beautifully and expertly done, Sanaa! I struggled with this form. I especially love the links between ‘I sought to kiss’ and ‘I wipe smudge of / doubt’; and ‘I had a dream / moon’s first gleam spreads’ and ‘I stay and write / poems bright through / late night (till day)’.
Thank you so much, Kim 😀 so good to see you ❤️
Here’s to branching out and experimenting with new forms!
Definitely 😀 thanks for stopping by, Rommy ❤️
A tough form I think… I like the idea of rhyme holding grudge…
Thank you so much, Rajani 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
So lilting and so musical!
Thank you so much, MMT 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
What a gift, to be able to write light into the darkness…
Thank you so much, Magaly 😀 so good to see you ❤️
This is one of my favorites of your’s. Thanks so much. The last line perfect!!!
Thank you so much, Annell 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
You did well with the form, which looked so complicated to me that I didn’t even attempt it.
Thank you so much, Sherry 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
You really did a neat job of this form Sanaa
Thank you so much, Namratha 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
Oh yes, sometimes writing poetry can take away from time to sleep…..but the results can be worth it indeed! Enjoyed your reflections.
Thank you so much, Mary 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Poems bright, indeed!
Thank you so much, Eric 😀 so good to see you ❤️
Better you than me, girl. Bawk-bawk is too close to horrible haiku for me! I’m chicken!
❤️❤️❤️
Very well done 🙂
Thank you so much, ZQ 😊 so good to see you ❤
Wow! A delicate balance in this form and echoed in the aloneness and creativity. O, sad. The narrator should at least have the kiss! Have a happy birthday, Sanaa,
Thank you so much, Susan 😊 so glad you enjoyed it ❤
(and thank you for the birthday wish🍰)
Wonderful! You’ve done something with the cadence here, that is quite mesmerizing. I enjoyed this poem – especially the close.
Thank you so much, Wendy 😊 so glad you enjoyed it ❤
Beautifully written!
Thank you so much, Beverly 😊 so good to see you ❤
I liked the word play this lent to. Grudge seemed best for me. I think poets enjoy the challenge of writing. I do but won’t call myself as a poet even though I enjoy the writing.
..
..
Thank you so much, Jim 😊 so glad you liked it ❤
Awww…This is such a gorgeous poem, Sanaa! Absolutely beautiful!
Thank you so much, Sumana 😊 so good to see you ❤
You did this so effortlessly. Keep writing!
Thank you so much, Vivian 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤
You embraced the challenge admirably and gifted us a beautiful poem.
Thank you so much, Helen 😊 so glad you liked it ❤
Thank you for linking up at Monday WRites this week Sanaa
much love…
My Pleasure, Gillena 🙂
much love…