Within This Heart Of Mine

Spread the love

I sought to kiss
but felt this wrong
now miss those times,
can we climb out
lest rhyme holds grudge-
I wipe smudge of
doubt, nudge you too.

I had a dream
moon’s first gleam spreads
yet seemed as dim.
Roses grim, wine
and whim of fate-
set me straight, I
feel weight of world.

What good is sleep
light or deep, love
come sweep me away-
cold and grey skies,
I stay and write
poems bright through
late night (till day).

 

Photo credits:Β Pinterest

Form: Than BaukΒ 

Posted on ‘Sunday Mini-Challenge’ @ Real Toads

& Posted on the “Poetry Pantry” @ Poets UnitedΒ 

& Posted on Monday Writes @ My Blog – Verses

verses

Comments

  1. Kerry says:

    Amazing! You worked this form like a pro, Sanaa and delivered a beautiful and memorable scene.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Kerry πŸ˜€ I enjoyed writing this one!❀️

  2. Marian says:

    Sanaa. This is just gorgeous! Wow, wow. This part should maybe be a tattoo or something:
    What good is sleep
    light or deep, love
    come sweep me away-
    And I just love the parenthetical at the end. Swoon!❀️

    1. Sanaa says:

      Aww gosh!❀️ Thank you so much, Marian πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it!❀️

      (and thank you for the lovely prompt)

  3. Bjorn says:

    Amazing… I could not make sense into the form… glad I did not read yours before going into this…

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Bjorn πŸ™‚ it was quite a challenging form!❀️

  4. gillena says:

    Well done Sanaa

    much love…

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Gillena 😊 so glad you liked it ❀

      much love…

  5. The Real Cie says:

    Beautifully melancholic! I thought to write more than one, but have an unfortunate tendency to pile on. It’s always an exercise for me to keep things simple.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Cara πŸ™‚ so glad you liked it ❀️

  6. Beautifully and expertly done, Sanaa! I struggled with this form. I especially love the links between ‘I sought to kiss’ and ‘I wipe smudge of / doubt’; and ‘I had a dream / moon’s first gleam spreads’ and ‘I stay and write / poems bright through / late night (till day)’.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Kim πŸ˜€ so good to see you ❀️

  7. Rommy says:

    Here’s to branching out and experimenting with new forms!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Definitely πŸ˜€ thanks for stopping by, Rommy ❀️

  8. Thotpurge says:

    A tough form I think… I like the idea of rhyme holding grudge…

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Rajani πŸ™‚ so glad you liked it ❀️

  9. Magical Mystical Teacher says:

    So lilting and so musical!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, MMT πŸ˜€ so glad you enjoyed it ❀️

  10. What a gift, to be able to write light into the darkness…

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Magaly πŸ˜€ so good to see you ❀️

  11. This is one of my favorites of your’s. Thanks so much. The last line perfect!!!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Annell πŸ˜€ so glad you enjoyed it ❀️

  12. You did well with the form, which looked so complicated to me that I didn’t even attempt it.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Sherry πŸ™‚ so glad you liked it ❀️

  13. Namratha says:

    You really did a neat job of this form Sanaa

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Namratha πŸ™‚ so glad you liked it ❀️

  14. Mary says:

    Oh yes, sometimes writing poetry can take away from time to sleep…..but the results can be worth it indeed! Enjoyed your reflections.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Mary πŸ˜€ so glad you enjoyed it ❀️

  15. Eric says:

    Poems bright, indeed!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Eric πŸ˜€ so good to see you ❀️

  16. Fireblossom says:

    Better you than me, girl. Bawk-bawk is too close to horrible haiku for me! I’m chicken!

    1. Sanaa says:

      ❀️❀️❀️

  17. ZQ says:

    Very well done πŸ™‚

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, ZQ 😊 so good to see you ❀

  18. Susan says:

    Wow! A delicate balance in this form and echoed in the aloneness and creativity. O, sad. The narrator should at least have the kiss! Have a happy birthday, Sanaa,

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Susan 😊 so glad you enjoyed it ❀

      (and thank you for the birthday wish🍰)

  19. Wendy Bourke says:

    Wonderful! You’ve done something with the cadence here, that is quite mesmerizing. I enjoyed this poem – especially the close.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Wendy 😊 so glad you enjoyed it ❀

  20. Bev says:

    Beautifully written!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Beverly 😊 so good to see you ❀

  21. Jim says:

    I liked the word play this lent to. Grudge seemed best for me. I think poets enjoy the challenge of writing. I do but won’t call myself as a poet even though I enjoy the writing.
    ..
    ..

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Jim 😊 so glad you liked it ❀

  22. Sumana Roy says:

    Awww…This is such a gorgeous poem, Sanaa! Absolutely beautiful!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Sumana 😊 so good to see you ❀

  23. Vivian Zems says:

    You did this so effortlessly. Keep writing!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Vivian πŸ™‚ so glad you liked it ❀

  24. Helen says:

    You embraced the challenge admirably and gifted us a beautiful poem.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Helen 😊 so glad you liked it ❀

  25. gillena says:

    Thank you for linking up at Monday WRites this week Sanaa

    much love…

    1. Sanaa says:

      My Pleasure, Gillena πŸ™‚

      much love…

Leave a Reply to Mary Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *