Oh, that words could drift along a gentle breeze
lest these emotions I learn to forget, breathe
their terse life out again.
My heart, it beats on the sound of your voice
as though strolling through a familiar lane,
while around us swirl these drops of rain.
You’re part light, part shadow lingering
among the aspen trees, is it possible
what you state could be more than
just a dream–
My heart, it bleeds upon the slightest touch
as though failing to remember most basic want
while around us fade these drops of rain.
You’re part memory, part forgetfulness
as though clouds obscuring a wakeful sun,
is it possible what you state could be
more than just a dream–
Oh, that words could drift along a gentle breeze
lest these emotions I learn to forget, breathe
their terse life out again.
Photo credits: Pinterest
Shay invites us to write a poem from the point of view of a person,
who sees reality through a distorted lens. I wrote about Dementia.
Posted for “Fireblossom Fridays” @ Real Toads
and Posted on ‘Open Link Night’ @ dVerse Pub
60 Responses
Sanaa, I really like the way you brought the repeated section back again, all the more powerfully for the intervening lines. Thanks so much for being part of FBF with this excellent piece!
Thank you so much, Shay 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
(and thank you for the lovely prompt)
This is sounding sooo poetic, Sanaa. You know, I don’t forget but do forget some names. Two young ladies I really liked. Their names will probably come to mind out of the blue someday. I would like that.
..
This is a gentle poem on a difficult subject. I could not write about this again, so I went in another direction. Just beautiful, Sanaa.
Thank you so much, Sara 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
Thank you so much, Jim 🙂 so good to see you ❤️
Beautiful and heart-breaking… I can only imagine the pain that would be caused by the loss of a love stolen by failing memory. And I agree with Fireblossom, the repetition does a wonderful job at reflecting the theme…
Thank you so much, Magaly 🙂 so good to see you ❤️
Memories can be so painful, but I think I would prefer the pain to be numbed by forgetfulness… I think I would cut myself to find some pain to soothe..
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, Bjorn ❤️
Emotions reflected, felt, held,lost and refund in echoes of the natural world. Beautifully done Sanaa.
Thank you so much, Scott 🙂 so good to see you ❤️
Dementia, senior moments–many of us struggle with their insidious roots, burrowing in the cortical darkness, like a coven of conspirators–I challenge myself with memorization drills, wring poetry, recalling trivia, working with my photography & my vast movie collection–poking & cajoling memory like a benevolent gadfly.
It’s a sensitive subject yes and was really challenging to write about. Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words, Glenn ❤️
A heart breaking theme to write about…I like the part of the light and shadow lingering on the aspen trees.
Thank you so much, Grace 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
One feels the intensity and sentiments in every single line. So beautifully written. By the way, that photo is beautiful too!
Thank you so much, Alwi 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
Beautiful and so sad–your juxtapositions are so evocative–just beautifully done!
Thank you so much, Audrey 🙂 so good to see you ❤️
I really like “you’re part memory, part forgetfulness”……..it must be a relief when dementia fogs the brain gently, so they drift upon a dream.
Thank you so much, Sherry 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
You’re part light, part shadow lingering
among the aspen trees.. like that!
Thank you so much, Rajani 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
It has a very dreamy feel to it, like you’re halfway between heaven and earth
Thank you so much, Walter 😀 so good to see you ❤️
Very sad. I wish my mother’s dementia could have been so gentle.
Thanks for stopping by Toni. I am so sorry to hear about your mother.. Sigh..
This is so beautiful and dreamy Sanaa, the opening line ‘Oh, that words could drift along a gentle breeze’ carry us straight into another world :o) xxx
Thank you so much, Xenia 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
You made me cry with this one, Sanaa – your poem reminded me of my mum. I love the lines:
‘You’re part light, part shadow lingering
among the aspen trees…’
and
‘You’re part memory, part forgetfulness
as though clouds obscuring a wakeful sun’.
*Big hugs* Once again, I am so sorry about your mum, Kim. Thanks for stopping by..
My mother had Alzheimer’s. I wish it could have been as gentle as this poem. Beautiful writing..
*Big hugs* I am so sorry about your mom, Susie. Thanks for stopping by…
You write of the forgetting so gently and yet show the confusion and pain of experiencing it.
Thank you so much, Debi 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
The repetition works super well here, Sanaa, and seems to go with the subject with a very great gentleness. thanks. k.
Thank you so much, Karin 🙂 so good to see you ❤️
Your gentle poem belies the intensity of dementia and other failings of the mind and how devastating the affects. I’m noticing the forgetfulness in my elderly mother and hope it doesn’t escalate to something more sinister. Beautifully done, Sanaa.
I am so sorry to hear about your mother, Gayle. I too hope it doesn’t escalate to something more sinister.
So sad and beautiful. My mother is 90, and I am seeing the beginnings of dementia. The poem should have been hard to read, yet I found it soothing, somehow. Thank you.
Thank you so much, Sue 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
Subtle…. beautiful…sad….so poetic…!!
Thank you so much, Sreeja 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
Wistful is the word that springs to my mind for this lovely passage of prose.
Thank you so much, Paul 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
I read this, and then read it again after seeing your note about a dementia POV. The poem gained new meaning on the second reading. Well done!
Thank you so much, Bryan 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
Truly distorted and surreal, yet so romantic and classical
Nice one Sanaa
much love…
Thank you so much, Gillena 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
I liked the idea of part memory and part forgetfulness is similar to clouds partially obscuring the sun.
Thank you so much, Frank 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
Oh, that words could drift along a gentle breeze
lest these emotions I learn to forget, breathe
When one takes the trouble to be a little cautious it gives room to be in control, just not to panic!
Hank
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, Hank ❤️
I like the part where your heart beats like strolling down a familiar lane.
Thank you so much, Colleen 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
Your soothing words give dignity to a difficult journey for those suffering dementia and those who struggle beside them…beautifully and poetically portrayed, Sanaa! I’m also fond of aspen 🙂
Thank you so much, Lynn 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
“part memory, part forgetfulness”
I love that.
Thank you so much, Mama Zen 🙂 so good to see you ❤️