Among the aspen trees

Oh, that words could drift along a gentle breeze
lest these emotions I learn to forget, breathe
their terse life out again.

My heart, it beats on the sound of your voice
as though strolling through a familiar lane,
while around us swirl these drops of rain.

You’re part light, part shadow lingering
among the aspen trees, is it possible
what you state could be more than
just a dream–

My heart, it bleeds upon the slightest touch
as though failing to remember most basic want
while around us fade these drops of rain.

You’re part memory, part forgetfulness
as though clouds obscuring a wakeful sun,
is it possible what you state could be
more than just a dream–

Oh, that words could drift along a gentle breeze
lest these emotions I learn to forget, breathe
their terse life out again.

 

Photo credits:Β Pinterest

Shay invites us to write a poem from the point of view of a person,
who sees reality through a distorted lens. I wrote about Dementia.

Posted for “Fireblossom Fridays” @ Real Toads

and Posted on ‘Open Link Night’ @ dVerse Pub

60 thoughts on “Among the aspen trees

  1. Fireblossom says:

    Sanaa, I really like the way you brought the repeated section back again, all the more powerfully for the intervening lines. Thanks so much for being part of FBF with this excellent piece!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Shay πŸ™‚ so glad you liked it ❀️

      (and thank you for the lovely prompt)

      1. Jim says:

        This is sounding sooo poetic, Sanaa. You know, I don’t forget but do forget some names. Two young ladies I really liked. Their names will probably come to mind out of the blue someday. I would like that.
        ..

        1. Sara McNulty says:

          This is a gentle poem on a difficult subject. I could not write about this again, so I went in another direction. Just beautiful, Sanaa.

          1. Sanaa says:

            Thank you so much, Sara πŸ™‚ so glad you liked it ❀️

        2. Sanaa says:

          Thank you so much, Jim πŸ™‚ so good to see you ❀️

  2. Beautiful and heart-breaking… I can only imagine the pain that would be caused by the loss of a love stolen by failing memory. And I agree with Fireblossom, the repetition does a wonderful job at reflecting the theme…

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Magaly πŸ™‚ so good to see you ❀️

  3. Bjorn Rudberg says:

    Memories can be so painful, but I think I would prefer the pain to be numbed by forgetfulness… I think I would cut myself to find some pain to soothe..

    1. Sanaa says:

      Definitely πŸ™‚ thanks for stopping by, Bjorn ❀️

  4. scott hastie says:

    Emotions reflected, felt, held,lost and refund in echoes of the natural world. Beautifully done Sanaa.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Scott πŸ™‚ so good to see you ❀️

  5. Dementia, senior moments–many of us struggle with their insidious roots, burrowing in the cortical darkness, like a coven of conspirators–I challenge myself with memorization drills, wring poetry, recalling trivia, working with my photography & my vast movie collection–poking & cajoling memory like a benevolent gadfly.

    1. Sanaa says:

      It’s a sensitive subject yes and was really challenging to write about. Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words, Glenn ❀️

  6. Grace says:

    A heart breaking theme to write about…I like the part of the light and shadow lingering on the aspen trees.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Grace πŸ™‚ so glad you liked it ❀️

  7. Alwi Shatry says:

    One feels the intensity and sentiments in every single line. So beautifully written. By the way, that photo is beautiful too!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Alwi πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  8. Audrey says:

    Beautiful and so sad–your juxtapositions are so evocative–just beautifully done!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Audrey πŸ™‚ so good to see you ❀️

  9. I really like “you’re part memory, part forgetfulness”……..it must be a relief when dementia fogs the brain gently, so they drift upon a dream.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Sherry πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  10. Thotpurge says:

    You’re part light, part shadow lingering
    among the aspen trees.. like that!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Rajani πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  11. Walter marks says:

    It has a very dreamy feel to it, like you’re halfway between heaven and earth

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Walter πŸ˜€ so good to see you ❀️

  12. kanzensakura says:

    Very sad. I wish my mother’s dementia could have been so gentle.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thanks for stopping by Toni. I am so sorry to hear about your mother.. Sigh..

  13. Xenia Tran says:

    This is so beautiful and dreamy Sanaa, the opening line ‘Oh, that words could drift along a gentle breeze’ carry us straight into another world :o) xxx

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Xenia πŸ˜€ so glad you enjoyed it ❀️

  14. You made me cry with this one, Sanaa – your poem reminded me of my mum. I love the lines:
    ‘You’re part light, part shadow lingering
    among the aspen trees…’
    and
    ‘You’re part memory, part forgetfulness
    as though clouds obscuring a wakeful sun’.

    1. Sanaa says:

      *Big hugs* Once again, I am so sorry about your mum, Kim. Thanks for stopping by..

  15. My mother had Alzheimer’s. I wish it could have been as gentle as this poem. Beautiful writing..

    1. Sanaa says:

      *Big hugs* I am so sorry about your mom, Susie. Thanks for stopping by…

  16. Debi says:

    You write of the forgetting so gently and yet show the confusion and pain of experiencing it.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Debi πŸ™‚ so glad you liked it ❀️

  17. Manicddaily says:

    The repetition works super well here, Sanaa, and seems to go with the subject with a very great gentleness. thanks. k.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Karin πŸ™‚ so good to see you ❀️

  18. Gayle Walters Rose says:

    Your gentle poem belies the intensity of dementia and other failings of the mind and how devastating the affects. I’m noticing the forgetfulness in my elderly mother and hope it doesn’t escalate to something more sinister. Beautifully done, Sanaa.

    1. Sanaa says:

      I am so sorry to hear about your mother, Gayle. I too hope it doesn’t escalate to something more sinister.

  19. Sue Anderson says:

    So sad and beautiful. My mother is 90, and I am seeing the beginnings of dementia. The poem should have been hard to read, yet I found it soothing, somehow. Thank you.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Sue πŸ™‚ so glad you liked it ❀️

  20. Subtle…. beautiful…sad….so poetic…!!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Sreeja πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  21. paul scribbles says:

    Wistful is the word that springs to my mind for this lovely passage of prose.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Paul πŸ™‚ so glad you liked it ❀️

  22. Bryan Ens says:

    I read this, and then read it again after seeing your note about a dementia POV. The poem gained new meaning on the second reading. Well done!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Bryan πŸ™‚ so glad you liked it ❀️

  23. gillena says:

    Truly distorted and surreal, yet so romantic and classical
    Nice one Sanaa

    much love…

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Gillena πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  24. Frank says:

    I liked the idea of part memory and part forgetfulness is similar to clouds partially obscuring the sun.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Frank πŸ™‚ so glad you liked it ❀️

  25. kaykuala h says:

    Oh, that words could drift along a gentle breeze
    lest these emotions I learn to forget, breathe

    When one takes the trouble to be a little cautious it gives room to be in control, just not to panic!

    Hank

    1. Sanaa says:

      Definitely πŸ™‚ thanks for stopping by, Hank ❀️

  26. I like the part where your heart beats like strolling down a familiar lane.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Colleen πŸ™‚ so glad you liked it ❀️

  27. lynn says:

    Your soothing words give dignity to a difficult journey for those suffering dementia and those who struggle beside them…beautifully and poetically portrayed, Sanaa! I’m also fond of aspen πŸ™‚

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Lynn πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it ❀️

  28. Mama Zen says:

    “part memory, part forgetfulness”

    I love that.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Mama Zen πŸ™‚ so good to see you ❀️

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