(inspired by Pablo Neruda’s “Love Sonnet XI”)
I do not love you with sweetness—
not with the hush of petals,
not like light falling on bread.
I want to touch you like thirst touches
the center of a stone—
a cracking, urgent need
with no name but hunger.
You are not a dream of mine.
You are the breath before surrender,
the velvet edge of danger—
I taste you in the pause
between control and desire.
There is a rhythm in your skin,
a slow-burning hymn
that draws my mouth
to every quiet flame of you.
I don’t want to be gentle.
I want to pull you into the dark
where breath tangles with breath,
where every gasp is a promise
not to let go.
Photo credits: Pinterest
42 Responses
This kind of poetry makes me almost weep for the power and beauty of words. Am in awe.
Thank you so much, Ain 🙂 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
“I want to touch you like thirst touches
the center of a stone”
Exquisite.
Thank you so much, Ken 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️
Oh, the passion in this, an echo and expansion of Neruda’s words… so much to quote here… I hope to hear you read it on Saturday.
Thank you so much, Bjorn 😀 so glad you liked it! Yes, I will read this one on Saturday 💄❤️
Whew! Queen of Romance indeed! These lines:
“I taste you in the pause
between control and desire.” WHOOSH!
Thank you so much, Lillian 😍 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️
We must have sat on the same burning toadstool in our dreams last night. “Every gasp is a promise not to let go.” I’m sweating!
Haha yes! Thank you so much, Brendan 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
This poem is magnificent. It doesn’t just capture that feeling, those passions- it wrestles them to the ground and kisses all over….
Thank you so much, Kim Whysall 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️
The passion in this Neruda-inspired poem is palpable, Sanaa, especially in the lines:
‘I want to touch you like thirst touches
the center of a stone’
and
‘You are the breath before surrender,
the velvet edge of danger’.
These lines stood out for me:
‘a slow-burning hymn
that draws my mouth
to every quiet flame of you’.
Gorgeous writing!
Thank you so much, my dearest Kim 😍 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️
Whether it be swooning emotion or hard, sharp hunger – you are our Queen of romance indeed, Sanaa…
You are so kind, Andrew! Thank you ❤️❤️
no vacillation on what one wants in this poem. It is gorgeous. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much, Selma 😀 so good to see you 💄❤️
Beautiful lines
I want to touch you like thirst touches
the centre of a stone—
Thank you so much, Reena 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
Yes, very intense and Nerudesque could we say. What a great mix of images and emotion.
Thank you so much, Georgina 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️
Evocative and loin-clenching. I can’t imagine a reader who wouldn’t want what you describe. 🙂
Secondly, I LOVE the line “the velvet edge of danger” and want to swipe it for a title!
Thank you so much, Christopher 🙂 so glad you liked it 💄❤️
also a fan of “the velvet edge of danger” SO GOOD!
Thank you so much, Ren 😀 that’s my favorite line too 💄❤️
Wow! It’s so hard to describe deep passion so sensually, but you do it!
Thank you so much, Colleen 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️
Such a strong and powerful love poem, Sanaa. I really like your vivid images of passion exuding in the moment!
Thank you so much, Dwight 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
“not like light falling on bread”
What a great image….beautiful poem, Sanaa!
JIM
❤️❤️❤️
Listening as you read this poem enhanced the experience a million times ~ The words crescendo as they are read in tone, emotion, sensuality … just stunning, Sanaa.
Awwww gosh! Thank you so much, Helen 😍 so glad you liked it 💄❤️
Very sensual, Sanaa!
Thank you so much, Nolcha 😀 so glad the poem and its imagery appealed to you 💄❤️
Ah, sigh, the passion is on fire in that last stanza most of all, wonderful and stirring.
Thank you so much, Paul 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
So passionate, so sensual, so good, Sanaa!💗💗
Thank you so much, Punam 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️
Beautiful and full of passion, Sanaa! It was great to hear you read on Saturday! 💙
Awwww gosh! Thank you so much, Merril 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️