The French doors swung open with a smack;
icy to the touch,
every shard of glass susceptible to pounding of wind
between violet rounds,
I wonder as to what the ground holds sacred,
why November flowering at dusk is quiet?
The heavier sky,
sweet and sour embraces where wild simply grows,
where wild simply grows—
do we side with sacrilegious joy or holier ache?
Scent would diminish, would simply fade away
if we did not exchange it from time to time,
chrysanthemums bursting,
coming into play; I’d say their temperament is fickle,
unlike that of an arrow, a whale,
or grapes—
soon it will be time for darkness to sweep the trees,
newspaper, thickest of traffic,
I wonder what bitterness would voice first
if it could,
between scuffle of feet and fight, between
scuffle of feet and fight—
do we bid our time or bellyflop without deviation?
The French doors swung shut with a smack.
Photo credits: Kristina Skoreva, ‘flower in clear glass vase’, Unsplash
Ingrid hosts at dVerse and invites us to write a poem using only concrete
nouns, subject matter and imagery. Come join us! 💝
Posted for Poetics: Concrete or Abstract @dVerse Poets Pub
48 Responses
I love the sensory imagery of this post, Sanaa! Your words appeal to all of the senses while staying firmly grounded in the concrete world around us. Thank you for taking part ❤️
Thank you so much, Ingrid 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️
(and thank you for the glorious prompt) 🌹
I love the dusk reflections between the opening and closing the doors. Soon a heavier sky and darkness will envelop us, but hopefully not with bitterness. This is my favorite part:
I wonder as to what the ground holds sacred,
why November flowering at dusk is quiet?
Yes, hopefully! Thank you so much, Grace 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️
I love how you started and ended with those doors. It gave the poem such an excellent framing. The imagery of all that happened and the use of repetition made me appreciate November a bit more.
That is such high praise! Thank you so much, Bjorn 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
the entrance sound is entrancing – what a vivid and vivacious tread through the month with all its twists and turns of thought:-
“The heavier sky,
sweet and sour embraces where wild simply grows,
where wild simply grows—”
Thank you so much, my dearest Laura 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️
Sanaa,
What a riveting read, opening and closing with French doors, the sharp sound of reality into the mix of November’s evocations! Loved the blend of the tangible and the intangible in your words.
pax,
dora
Thank you so much, Dora 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
What a wonderful scene you have painted here, Sanaa! From colours to sounds to smells, I am there in the moment. So many good lines! I love:
“I wonder as to what the ground holds sacred,
why November flowering at dusk is quiet?
The heavier sky,
sweet and sour embraces where wild simply grows,
where wild simply grows—
do we side with sacrilegious joy or holier ache?”
But the whole thing, really – adore <3
Awww gosh! Thank you so much, my dearest Sunra 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️
Doors open, fine poetry enters, reader is treated to excellence, doors close.
Way to go SR.
Thank you so much, Ron 😀 so good to see you 💄❤️
I like all the transitions in imagery and the questioning of the shifting and “exchanging” of scents, etc, so much is observed and examined in the “pounding of wind” between the opening and closing of those French doors with a smack! Good stuff!
Thank you so much, my dearest Tricia 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️
The exchange of scents…exactly, the perfect image.
Thank you so much, Kerfe 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
The revelery of November quiet flowering is at the open door. The back to reality is at the shut door. Nice contrasts here.
Happy Tuesday
Much💛love
Thank you so much, Gillena 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️
Much love back ..
I like this, especially how you began and ended it.
Thank you so much, Jenna 😀 so good to see you 💄❤️
I love the way you carried me through the doors opening and closing. Each line filled my senses Sanaa. Beautiful ❤️
Thank you so much, Christine 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️
The doors open and shut provide such a great concrete frame for the imagery–love the need for scents to change so we can truly appreciate them sorta like the seasons.
Thank you so much, K. Hartless 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
This is most excellent Sanaa — wonderful writing! 🙂
Thank you so much, Rob 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️
Very nice visuals!
❤️❤️❤️
A wonderful poem Sanaa. Great images and metaphors.
Scent would diminish, would simply fade away
if we did not exchange it from time to time,
This is so true… Seems there is more to seasons that just our trip around the sun.
Thank you so much, Dwight 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
this is a poem i will come back to for another read i enjoyed it that much.
That is such high praise! Thank you so much, Roger 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️
“Scent would diminish, would simply fade away
if we did not exchange it from time to time”
I had never thought of that, but it is so true.
Thank you so much, Ron 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️
This plays so cleverly with time–as you’re reading it feels lazy, narrative, and then with the last line you realize that all happened in a second. it’s brilliant, really.
Thank you so much, Alexandra 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️
November is chrysanthemums here too. Funereal.
Thank you so much, Jane 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
A fascinating image which is followed by exquisite poetry … enjoy your day, Sanaa.
Awww gosh! Thank you so much, my dearest Helen 😀 you made my day! 💄❤️
I love the imagery derived all from a french door’s shards of glass! Exquisite!
Thank you so much, Mary 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️
gorgeous, Sanaa <3
-David
Thank you so much, David 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️
Small fuss,” the wind between “violet” ( Perhaps violent?) rounds. Easy typo, easy not to notice. Your refrains do spice up the piece. Is this a particular form, or just how the poem wrote itself? This is another excellent poem, beyond a ballad; wonderful word-smithing.
Thank you so much, Glenn 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
Here it’s violet. It is deliberate, for purposes of describing the duration of dusk.. 🙂