Stream and gliding sun
Near the bobbing fuchsia trees
Your smile is umbrage
While idly watching rain clouds
I breathe an earnest prayer
Photo credits: www.pinterest.com
Posted on Meeting the Bar @ dVerse Pub
also on the Poetry Pantry @ Poets United
I can see those ‘bobbing fuchsia trees, Sanaa, and I love the ambiguity of umbrage!
Thank you so much, Kim. Umbrage here refers to ‘shade’ ❤️
I like that fushia tree and this line: I breathe an earnest prayer.
I think this is the first time I have a tanka from you Sanaa. Well done ~
Thank you so much, Grace ❤ so glad you liked it.
Nicely done. I love the photo.
Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Beautiful imagery I can see in my mind.
Thank you so much, Sara ❤
I admire the subtlety in this, Sanaa…the undercurrent of desire, beautifully done.
I am so glad you like it, Gayle ❤
Lovely! ❤
Thank you so much, Josslyn ❤
Fuchsia – those potted plants that are trees.. Love those bobbing blooms
I love them too 😀 so glad you liked the poem.
Basking in the shade of your smile … Loving your words here and the gorgeous photo too!
Thank you so much, Lillian 😀 so glad you liked it.
Love how you hint at desire in this without making it too obvious.
Thank you Bryan 🙂 so glad you liked it.
I too like umbrage – makes me think of shade/umbra and then the smile blends with the colour of clouds – superb Sanaa ❤️
Thank you so much, Laura ❤️ so glad you enjoyed the poem 🙂
While idly watching rain clouds
I breathe an earnest prayer
A smile can begin to create a longing that is hopeful and sustained
Hank
Definitely 🙂 thank you kindly, Hank.
I am glad I came back! My original comment disappeared. Love this tanka. Reminds me of how as I child, I would pull off fuschia blooms to pretend they were dancing ladies. Breathing that earnest prayer too….very very nice!
Thank you so much, Toni ❤️ so glad you liked the poem.
Well you certainly cast a shadow over this piece with any smile losing itself in the dark. Umbrage is of course to take offence or casting a shadow over an opinion. I took it that the smile was not sincere! Please tell me that is not true!
Um.. umbrage here refers to shade.. and no the smile was not insincere 🙂
A perfect moment. Beautiful. 🙂
Thank you kindly, Anmol 🙂
Lost in the prayer of a flower bud – how wonderful – reminded of also popping the bulbs as children and the lovely smell.. i guess growing up is about leaning to wait for it to pop open on its own 😉
Definitely ❤ so glad you liked it, Jae 🙂
Beautiful Sanaa
Thank you so much, Rajani 🙂
So well crafted, Sanaa!
Painted with the brush of a true poet.
Thank you so much, Mary ❤️ that’s so sweet of you 😀
prayer and blossoming appreciation, what lovely themes. Your Line 3 pivots expertly in this tanka
This a beautiful image shared, thanks for linking to My Sunday Lime [you may use my blog button on you site whenever you link in]
much love…
Thank you so much, Gillena ❤ I ll do that 🙂 thanks.
nice tanka!
do i detect a hint of desire in these lines? 🙂
Thank you 🙂 yes you do!
Lovely, sharp! In such beauty, must there be umbrage? I suppose, but maybe the anxious prayer can turn into one of gratitude. SO much said in such a small space!
Thank you so much, Susan 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
Such a beautiful tanka, Sanaa 🙂
Thank you so much, Purba ❤️
perfect and beautiful….
Thank you Sumana ❤️ so glad you liked it 🙂
This is so artfully drawn, and I love the gorgeous photo!!!!!
Thank you so much, Sherry ❤️ so glad you liked it 😀
Fushia’s are my favourite flower, great pic and poem too.
Thank you kindly, Julian 🙂
Beautiful and moody piece–I love when you go in both directions like this
Thank you so much Audrey ❤ was really striving for both 🙂 so glad you liked it.
So much happening here, ‘idly watching rain clouds’ ~ wow…
such tension here…I really believe the storm is coming… 🙂
Exactly so ❤ thank you so much 🙂
It makes me want to know what the subject (and his smile) has done to ruin such a moment…
Actually it was his smile that created that magical moment ❤️ hence the umbrage (shade)
A lovely tanka. You have a talent for the form – and I read a lot of tanka. This was an absolute pleasure to read!
Thank you so much, Wendy ❤️
Ah a perfectly unique way of describing the essence of smile as “umbrage” wonderful!
Definitely ❤️ thank you kindly, Pearl
A very lovely tanka, in the true spirit of this form.
Thank you so much, Rosemary ❤️
I love the tanka form. A LOVELY ONE !
Thank you so much, Rall ❤️
This is lovely. It is a prayer of gratitude in itself. Such delight.
Thank you so much, Myrna ❤️ so glad you liked it 😀
Sometimes breathing a prayer is all we can do, but it is usually always enough…
Exactly so, thank you kindly 🙂