Tanka

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34823958.Fuschia

Stream and gliding sun
Near the bobbing fuchsia trees
Your smile is umbrage
While idly watching rain clouds
I breathe an earnest prayer

 

 

Photo credits: www.pinterest.com

Posted on Meeting the Bar @ dVerse Pub

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also on the Poetry Pantry @ Poets United

Comments

  1. I can see those ‘bobbing fuchsia trees, Sanaa, and I love the ambiguity of umbrage!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Kim. Umbrage here refers to ‘shade’ ❤️

  2. Grace says:

    I like that fushia tree and this line: I breathe an earnest prayer.

    I think this is the first time I have a tanka from you Sanaa. Well done ~

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Grace ❤ so glad you liked it.

  3. Nicely done. I love the photo.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  4. Sara McNulty says:

    Beautiful imagery I can see in my mind.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Sara ❤

  5. Gayle Walters Rose says:

    I admire the subtlety in this, Sanaa…the undercurrent of desire, beautifully done.

    1. Sanaa says:

      I am so glad you like it, Gayle ❤

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Josslyn ❤

  6. Bjorn says:

    Fuchsia – those potted plants that are trees.. Love those bobbing blooms

    1. Sanaa says:

      I love them too 😀 so glad you liked the poem.

  7. Lillian says:

    Basking in the shade of your smile … Loving your words here and the gorgeous photo too!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Lillian 😀 so glad you liked it.

  8. Bryan Ens says:

    Love how you hint at desire in this without making it too obvious.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you Bryan 🙂 so glad you liked it.

  9. I too like umbrage – makes me think of shade/umbra and then the smile blends with the colour of clouds – superb Sanaa ❤️

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Laura ❤️ so glad you enjoyed the poem 🙂

  10. kaykuala h says:

    While idly watching rain clouds
    I breathe an earnest prayer

    A smile can begin to create a longing that is hopeful and sustained

    Hank

    1. Sanaa says:

      Definitely 🙂 thank you kindly, Hank.

  11. kanzensakura says:

    I am glad I came back! My original comment disappeared. Love this tanka. Reminds me of how as I child, I would pull off fuschia blooms to pretend they were dancing ladies. Breathing that earnest prayer too….very very nice!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Toni ❤️ so glad you liked the poem.

  12. Old Egg says:

    Well you certainly cast a shadow over this piece with any smile losing itself in the dark. Umbrage is of course to take offence or casting a shadow over an opinion. I took it that the smile was not sincere! Please tell me that is not true!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Um.. umbrage here refers to shade.. and no the smile was not insincere 🙂

  13. HA says:

    A perfect moment. Beautiful. 🙂

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you kindly, Anmol 🙂

  14. Jae Rose says:

    Lost in the prayer of a flower bud – how wonderful – reminded of also popping the bulbs as children and the lovely smell.. i guess growing up is about leaning to wait for it to pop open on its own 😉

    1. Sanaa says:

      Definitely ❤ so glad you liked it, Jae 🙂

  15. Thotpurge says:

    Beautiful Sanaa

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Rajani 🙂

  16. Mary says:

    So well crafted, Sanaa!
    Painted with the brush of a true poet.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Mary ❤️ that’s so sweet of you 😀

  17. gillena says:

    prayer and blossoming appreciation, what lovely themes. Your Line 3 pivots expertly in this tanka

    This a beautiful image shared, thanks for linking to My Sunday Lime [you may use my blog button on you site whenever you link in]

    much love…

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Gillena ❤ I ll do that 🙂 thanks.

  18. dsnake1 says:

    nice tanka!
    do i detect a hint of desire in these lines? 🙂

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you 🙂 yes you do!

  19. Susan says:

    Lovely, sharp! In such beauty, must there be umbrage? I suppose, but maybe the anxious prayer can turn into one of gratitude. SO much said in such a small space!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Susan 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️

  20. Such a beautiful tanka, Sanaa 🙂

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Purba ❤️

  21. Sumana Roy says:

    perfect and beautiful….

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you Sumana ❤️ so glad you liked it 🙂

  22. This is so artfully drawn, and I love the gorgeous photo!!!!!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Sherry ❤️ so glad you liked it 😀

  23. Julian says:

    Fushia’s are my favourite flower, great pic and poem too.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you kindly, Julian 🙂

  24. Beautiful and moody piece–I love when you go in both directions like this

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much Audrey ❤ was really striving for both 🙂 so glad you liked it.

  25. humbird says:

    So much happening here, ‘idly watching rain clouds’ ~ wow…
    such tension here…I really believe the storm is coming… 🙂

    1. Sanaa says:

      Exactly so ❤ thank you so much 🙂

  26. It makes me want to know what the subject (and his smile) has done to ruin such a moment…

    1. Sanaa says:

      Actually it was his smile that created that magical moment ❤️ hence the umbrage (shade)

  27. Wendy Bourke says:

    A lovely tanka. You have a talent for the form – and I read a lot of tanka. This was an absolute pleasure to read!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Wendy ❤️

  28. Ah a perfectly unique way of describing the essence of smile as “umbrage” wonderful!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Definitely ❤️ thank you kindly, Pearl

  29. A very lovely tanka, in the true spirit of this form.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Rosemary ❤️

      1. Rall says:

        I love the tanka form. A LOVELY ONE !

        1. Sanaa says:

          Thank you so much, Rall ❤️

  30. Myrna says:

    This is lovely. It is a prayer of gratitude in itself. Such delight.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Myrna ❤️ so glad you liked it 😀

  31. Magical Mystical Teacher says:

    Sometimes breathing a prayer is all we can do, but it is usually always enough…

    1. Sanaa says:

      Exactly so, thank you kindly 🙂

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