Rise, oh my soul, with your desire and longing to Eden

Spread the love

Oh! a kiss plucked out from the dark seed,
impregnable and one that blooms only in tangent.

True love whose fire by far burns brightest,
is often much like finding a needle in a haystack.

Your presence curls around me, thick as smoke
encircling in deliciously dark indecision.

Stay a little longer, come and watch
dropped down, he who hid blurring his image, an illusion.

Hidden within the warm, earthy depth
my love, though false, come and blow a kiss to the flower.

 

 

Photo credits: Silence, Marta Bevacqua on BehanceΒ 

Form: Landay

Posted for Sanaa’s Challenge: My final prompt @ Real Toads

also Posted on the Open Link Night @ dVerse Poets Pub

Comments

  1. Kerry says:

    I love the opening landay! It is a beautiful image, and I also like the way you moved from seed to flower throughout the poem. A very darkly passionate piece.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Awww gosh! πŸ’β€οΈ Thank you so much, Kerry πŸ˜€ so glad you enjoyed it! πŸ’β€οΈ

  2. Old Egg says:

    Difficult to choose which one is best but on re-reading I think the first and third landays fitted my mood Sanaa.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Robin πŸ˜€ so glad the poem resonated with you πŸ’β€οΈ

  3. Jae Rose says:

    I love your ending it is full of hope

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Jae πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it πŸ’β€οΈ

  4. Ron. says:

    Wonderful work indeed, Sanaa. I’m especially in awe of the final couplet. My hat is off, both in admiration of the work and in gratitude for all your contributions to The Garden. Salute!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much for your warm and kind words, Ron πŸ˜€ so glad you enjoyed it (both the poem and the contributions to The Garden) πŸ’β€οΈ

  5. Wonderfully done, Sanaa. I especially love the last one.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Sherry πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it πŸ’β€οΈ

  6. What a wonderful piece Sanaa! It is truly lovely.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Linda πŸ˜€ so good to see you πŸ’β€οΈ

  7. Sanaa, this form was made for you! I love the β€˜kiss plucked out from the dark seed’, the kiss blown to a flower and, especially, the lines:
    β€˜Your presence curls around me, thick as smoke
    encircling in deliciously dark indecision.’

    1. Sanaa says:

      Awwww gosh! πŸ’β€οΈ Thank you so much, Kim πŸ˜€ so glad you enjoyed it! πŸ’β€οΈ

  8. Barry says:

    Wow. These made me blush, and they’re not even about me. I remain immensely impressed by your choice of visuals.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Barry πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it πŸ’β€οΈ

  9. Each couplet stands on its own as a visual expression of love and passion. Thank you, Sanaa, for your painting of words: dark seed kisses, a fiery love, a presence thick as smoke. You create a world that is hard to leave.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Joel πŸ˜€ so glad the poem resonated with you πŸ’β€οΈ

  10. Rall says:

    True live is like finding a needle in a haystack but false love can be deliciously dark.:)

    1. Sanaa says:

      Definitely πŸ˜‰ thanks for stopping by, Rall πŸ’β€οΈ

  11. gillena says:

    Luv this rendition
    “True love whose fire by far burns brightest,”

    Happy Tuesday and wishing that you have a happy birthday tomorrow

    MuchβœπŸ’žβœlove

    1. Sanaa says:

      Yayyy! πŸ’β€οΈ Thank you soo much, Gillena! Sending some cake over for you, so glad you enjoyed the poem! πŸŽ‚πŸ°

      Much love..

  12. Helen says:

    This is quite beautiful.

    1. Sanaa says:

      πŸ’β€οΈπŸ’β€οΈ

  13. Bjorn Rudberg says:

    The last one in particular was so close to life… sometime sweet lies are preferable to the truth

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Bjorn πŸ˜€ so glad the poem resonated with you πŸ’β€οΈ

  14. Goodness your opening is beautiful. You write of love so beautifully. There is darkness and light. A beautiful poem to honor the form it is written in.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Susie πŸ˜€ so glad you enjoyed it πŸ’β€οΈ

  15. Scott hastie says:

    Following on from Grace & Bjorn in my reading tonight, what another powerful piece! Such passion and gentle definition on display here. Feels like your soul is on display… As a writer myself, I admire very much such a degree of openness – for me , that is what it is all about!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Scott πŸ˜€ so glad the poem resonated with you πŸ’β€οΈ

  16. Xenia Tran says:

    Gloriously written Sanaa, a beautiful rhythm throughout and I love the movement from seed to flower xxx

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Xenia πŸ˜€ so good to see you πŸ’β€οΈ

  17. Vivian Zems says:

    True love…. needle in a haystack… I smiled at this. A beautiful write.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Vivian πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it πŸ’β€οΈ

  18. Everything about each of these couplets is superb, the romantic bent, the pinch of naughtiness, the passion mantled in lust and love, and the final burst of hope.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Glenn πŸ˜€ so glad you enjoyed it πŸ’β€οΈ

  19. Fantastic. Love the images.

    1. Sanaa says:

      πŸ’β€οΈπŸ’β€οΈ

  20. I went down with the seed and then out with the blowing in the wind of it.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Colleen πŸ˜€ so glad the poem resonated with you πŸ’β€οΈ

  21. Grace says:

    I admire the ending couplet. Thanks for joining and wishing you a good weekend.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Grace πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it. Wishing you a wonderful weekend as well! πŸ’β€οΈ

  22. Love your closing lines. A beautiful love poem!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Dwight πŸ˜€ so good to see you πŸ’β€οΈ

  23. Oh. Oh. My heart melted and cracked with that last line!

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Rosemarie πŸ˜€ so glad you enjoyed it πŸ’β€οΈ

  24. Nitin Lalit says:

    Your presence curls around me, thick as smoke
    encircling in deliciously dark indecision.
    – These are surreal, beautiful lines.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Nitin πŸ˜€ so glad you liked it πŸ’β€οΈ

  25. Brendan says:

    I read the landays together — as one poem — and they lattice well enough together except the last one which sort of defies the rest. Maybe as a pun, with an ironic false kiss. Elegantly structured though I’m not sure what it risks.

    1. Sanaa says:

      Thank you so much, Brendan πŸ˜€ so good to see you πŸ’β€οΈ

  26. Frank Hubeny says:

    I like your description of finding true love as finding a needle in a haystack.

  27. Sara McNulty says:

    Wow, that third one really got me! These are all so well done.

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