Poem inspired by the title of Pablo Neruda’s poetic masterpiece “I like for you to be still.”
The ocean blue, transparent, soft and strong
its breath rising and falling with melodic ease as the sun roseate
whispers soothingly, becomes its heartbeat
I wonder if I would have ever observed its beauty
had I been born into its depths
like a lionfish,
creamy white, sweeping over coral reefs in a matter of seconds
I like for you to be still,
as though you are reflection
and my gaze does not touch you yet longingly caresses,
it seems that you belong to another time.
The wind gentle, sweet-tempered, loving and quiet
in July it rouses me to wakefulness
as night sits up and brushes off leaves from obsidian robe
in gales it sings to crab-apple trees,
its tone a spiritual affirmation that cleanses my being
I like for you to be still,
as though you are attempting to listen
and my message is being delivered to you from far away
it seems that you are part of my spirit.
Whoever claimed that love was fire
let slip from memory that it’s also breath and sigh
a simple kiss takes one to heaven
surpassing magenta clouds as euphoria floods into the veins
your eloquent lips,
are like waves meeting with sand, they smile and revive
the restless soul.
Perfectly red, a raspberry is like a whisper enclosed
into my palm
like the first drops of rain after work on a Monday morning
I know how it feels
when someone we hold close to heart – is miles apart
I like for you to be still,
as though drifting off into a peaceful sleep
and my thoughts
seeking to hold hands with you in a field of dreams-
it seems as though we are meant to be.
Photo credits: Mallory Morrison Photography
Posted on Sanaa’s Challenge @ Real Toads
& Posted on Open Link Night @ dVerse Pub
& Posted on Poetry Pantry @ Poets United
Your story telling is beautiful in your poetry Sanaa. It has a poignant touch and so believable and a joy to read.
Thank you so much, Robin 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Yowza!
Thank you so much, Ron 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
So much life, movement and growth in the stillness. Magnificent imagery and sensation.
Thank you so much, H.Hennenburg 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you ❤️
Love how you wove “I like for you to be still” into this poem. Lovely.
Thank you so much, Helen 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
You took a dive off the Neruda springboard and boy did you splash, Sanaa! I love the opening lines with the ocean’s breath becoming its heartbeat, and wondering about being a lionfish observing its beauty, I also love the personification of night sitting up and brushing off leaves, and the repetition of Neruda’s line echoing throughout.
Thank you so much, Kim 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
A lovely poem of stillness.
Thank you so much, Toni 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
“my thoughts / seeking to hold hands with you in a field of dreams” captured me in those lines. One can still be with the other in dreams.
Thank you so much, Lori 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
It’s prosery at its best, a romantic romp, and how cool to make a refrain of the borrowed line. So very sensual, rife with longing.
Thank you so much, Glenn 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
“Whoever claimed that love was fire
let slip from memory that it’s also breath and sigh”
How lovely that is.
Thank you so much, Sherry 😀 so good to see you ❤️
I so admire Neruda’s poems and that line, and you took that and made it your own. A gorgeous love letter!
Thank you so much, Grace 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
A beautiful love poem Sanaa, I especially love ‘my thoughts
seeking to hold hands with you in a field of dreams’ xxx
Thank you so much, Xenia 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
Nicely written, Sanaa. It flows nicely, must be not good to be “,miles apart”..
..
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, Jim ❤️
your lips are truly eloquent. this is an amazing piece. it seems so solid, so selfaware. yet i detect an undercurrent of doubt in it, very subtle. truly beautiful. thank you for this.
Thank you so much, Eric 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Sanaa, what lovely profound words. These stood out as my favorites:
Whoever claimed that love was fire
let slip from memory that it’s also breath and sigh
a simple kiss takes one to heaven
Togetherness in the midst of separation, be it miles or night or the silver illusion of the ocean’s mirror, that divider between self and other that reflects the longing of these lovers, is gifted so gracefully to us, the reverential observers, in this poem that we can live with the blink, the moment, in each stanza as if it had been breathed into glass – hardly realizing the moment is actually the flowing of water, or wind, or even the small fruit passing from our palm transformed sacramentally, perfectly from that red spot of grace we can fold into our mouths becoming our hands and skin and even the memory of having held it once. And so it goes and circles.
We want our life our world and most of all our love to be still, but the night wind sheds its leaves and our love travels and, even more painfully, changes under our very grasp, or we change and our love cannot withstand the listing and sometimes we are left with just each moment held in the memory, or less precisely in that large field of dreaming.
Needless to say… I have changed my shell from man to woman, life was strangling my heart otherwise, my wife wanted my shell to be still and I wanted that feeling that we were meant to be together despite any storm to be frozen, encapsulated forever, , but now we just circle politely, bound by exigencies more than bond. But oh those dreams of oceans and night and the fruit we once held within our grasp.
Thank you my friend for this master stroke, needless to say, it brings rivers to my eyes.
Thank you so much, Lona 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you ❤️
Thank you so much, Linda 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
i love the journey you take us on here. My favorite is going from the eloquent lips to the perfect raspberry held in your hand. Wonderful prompt, and such a beautiful flowing response to it!
Thank you so much, Victoria 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you ❤️
This is gorgeous Sanaa, enthralling — wonderful writing, it moves the soul. I love the image..
Thank you so much, Rob 🙂 so glad you liked it ❤️
I can only sigh…
❤️❤️❤️❤️
“Perfectly red, a raspberry is like a whisper enclosed
into my palm”…. the whole last stanza could stand on its own. Lovely!
Thank you so much, Margaret 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
I love the juxtaposition of fire and water in the third stanza…especially your use of the word “flood”. Indeed, love is often more of a flood in my experience!
Thank you so much, Bryan 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
As everyone else has said, so very lovely. And well sustained. I kept thinking at the end if each verse that I had reached the finish, only to find that you had much more to say – and all of it vital.
Thank you so much, Rosemary 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Your writing is not merely gorgeous, bu stunning in the it melds into Neruda’spoem.
Thank you so much, Sara 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
I agree with the commenter that this is a beautiful poem of stillness. I especially like the ending in which it seems one is drifting off to peaceful sleep. I like the waves meeting with sand as well., gives me a feeling of rhythm with the stillness and a kind of sensual longing.
Thank you so much, Mary 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you ❤️
I found myself wanting to quote everything. But I shall resist… I love that this reads like meditation, the way you describe the feelings and the sounds and the colors puts me a world that soothes everything.
All right, so I have to quote this bit: “night sits up and brushes off leaves from obsidian robe
in gales it sings to crab-apple trees”, and say that I can see it and feel it (and will probably always remember the song).
Awwww gosh! ❤️ Thank you so much, Magaly 😀 so glad you enjoyed it! ❤️
I like for you to be still,
as though you are reflection… beautiful… nicely done, Sanaa!
Thank you so much, Rajani 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
Such a rich and heady poem – I loved it
Thank you so much, Jae 😀 so good to see you ❤️
I freaking love these lines:
Whoever claimed that love was fire
let slip from memory that it’s also breath and sigh
a simple kiss takes one to heaven
Love is a flexible sort of thing, shifting to what is needed as long as the lovers involved remain devoted to the idea of its presence.
Thank you so much, Rommy 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
You create so many pictures in my mind. I especially love this one:
I wonder if I would have ever observed its beauty
had I been born into its depths
like a lionfish,
creamy white, sweeping over coral reefs
Thank you so much, Kerry 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
This was amazing–so much gorgeous imagery and yet a softness to the lines, soothing. Really blown away!
Thank you so much, Chrissa 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Love the way you’ve mingled beautiful visuals with eloquently expressed interspections. ‘my thoughts
seeking to hold hands with you in a field of dreams’ says it all. Wonderful writing!
Thank you so much, Wendy 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you ❤️
This is so beautiful.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
A beautiful poem. Gorgeous images expressed beautifully.
Thank you so much, Ayala 😀 so good to see you ❤️
Your writing is perfection here!
Thank you so much, Lillian 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
It takes me away…I especially liked “Perfectly red, a raspberry is like a whisper enclosed
into my palm”
Thank you so much, Nan 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
there is so much imagery, and movement in this love poem. totally exquisite piece of work. i like the mention of the lionfish. is love exotic, slow-swimming and at times painful? 🙂
How lovely! You’re an incredible world builder.