Now that you mention it, there is a thin line
between modest and lewd,
bathed in fluorescent light where it’s difficult
to tell them apart,
war, it is said, turns even the most stalwart
ones to dust,
for reasons the sun cannot comprehend,
it knows only to burn— I close my eyes and think
of strawberry fields instead.
I travel to lush pastures and write sonnets,
where putrefaction is a word
foreign to eye of heart and mind,
where wind knows not to speak of torment
that keeps me up at night,
it’s deafening enough as it is, it’s deafening
enough as it is;
autumn has a unique way of disguising blood with
crimson leaves and song.
I, unlike other women ambling along riverbanks
engage not in boisterous gatherings
nor adorn with roseate blush every time
an officer passes by,
don’t ask me why for I won’t be able to explain,
the cries of Dulwich have grown
increasingly complex—
then somebody taps on the shoulder and says,
‘may I have this dance?’
And turns me from delicate petal… to thorn.
Photo credits: Houses near water in a mountain village, Pexels.
Kim is our lovely hostess at dVerse where she invites us to write a response
poem, I chose “When I am among a blaze of lights,” by Siegfried Sassoon ❤️
Posted for Poetics: Dead Poets Society @dVerse Poets Pub
29 Responses
Oh that ending, what a great way to nod at Sassoon’s ending of his heart turning to stone. Love the thought of the female viewpoint of the same event. It must have been strange those moments on vacation from the battle.
Thank you so much, Bjorn 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you! Yes, I agree, it must have been strange! 💄❤️
You have wowed me with this stunning response to Sassoon, Sanaa! I love that you have written your poem from a female point of view and directly address the poet with ‘Now that you mention it…’, and I really love the lines:
‘autumn has a unique way of disguising blood with
crimson leaves and song’
and the strange coincidence of similarity with my own poem, which you can’t have known about, in the lines:
‘I, unlike other women ambling along riverbanks
engage not in boisterous gatherings’.
Awww gosh! Thank you so much, Kim 😍 so glad you enjoyed it! 💄❤️
(and thank you for the glorious prompt) 🥂
Love your response from the woman’s point of view Sanaa. Specially the torment of these lines:
where wind knows not to speak of torment
that keeps me up at night,
it’s deafening enough as it is, it’s deafening
enough as it is;
And I love that ending (parallel with the poet’s last line: And turns me from delicate petal… to thorn.
Thank you so much, Grace 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
This is such a beautiful response poem!
“war, it is said, turns even the most stalwart
ones to dust,
for reasons the sun cannot comprehend,
it knows only to burn— I close my eyes and think
of strawberry fields instead” I just adore these lines… what a great take on the prompt. Just beautiful, Sanaa!
Awww gosh! Thank you so much, Miriam 😀 so glad you liked it! 💄❤️
You got me at the strawberry fields
❤️❤️❤️
I really like this part as well:
“autumn has a unique way of disguising blood with
crimson leaves and song.”
Thank you so much, Melissa 😀 so glad you enjoyed it! 💄❤️
Stupendous referencing of Sasoon’s poem Sanaa, and the female point of view – and what an ending!
Thank you so much, Andrew 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
“for reasons the sun cannot comprehend,
it knows only to burn”
You spell out the way things are in your unique Sanaaa way. Bravo!!!
Much💛love
Thank you so much, Gillena 😀 so good to see you 💄❤️
Well written Sanaa, I enjoyed it!
Thank you so much, Rob 😀 so glad you enjoyed it! 💄❤️
This response is nothing short of stupendous, Sanaa. I adore it!
Much love,
David
Thank you so much, David 😀 so glad the poem resonated with you 💄❤️
I wonder what Sassoon would have thought of her?
❤️❤️❤️
What an ending! I really like your response.
Thank you so much, Sky 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️
What a fine response to Sassoon’s poem! Like his, your poem’s tone, the setting, the imagery move us to a distaste of war that leaves disillusionment in its wake and a repugnance of its trappings. Well done as always, Sanaa!
Thank you so much, Dora 😀 so glad you enjoyed it 💄❤️
Sanaa this is such a wonderful read, it builds and then explodes at the end, I wonder that sSassoon would have loved this.
Awww gosh! Thank you so much, Paul 😀 so glad you liked it 💄❤️
a stunning response, from a different perspective, and a killer ending!