You
walked in
like summer
serenely sweet
I gazed upon mute
filled with rhapsodic breath
Your eyes they stir, mold and melt
bade me ignore the fears I felt
Oh the heart at length does glow with ache
Reminding me thus of treasured mistake
Form: Etheree
Photo credits: www.pinterest.com
Posted for Poetics @ dVerse Pub
& Poetry Pantry @ Poets United
Reminds me of sweet young love….fearless and ignoring the doubts which will come back to haunt again ~ Thanks for joining in Sanaa ~
Hello Grace,
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So many mistakes, I suspect, have fear at their root. Love that you used the etheree!
Hello Victoria,
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Young love, young mistakes. Glad she took a chance!
Hello Toni,
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I love the term “treasured mistake.” So many of them are, with the gift of time.
Hello De Jackson,
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You have imbued this mistake with such romance! Beautifully written, Sanaa. Thanks for joining in.
Hello C.C
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Love the physical structure of this poem too which stretches out the sweet yearnings here.
Hello Laura,
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Oh we do make those mistakes… we miss chances and we overstay our welcome… so sad when it trickles out in nothingness
Hello Bjorn,
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Perhaps falling in love is always a mistake…as we do not chose whom to fall in love with…but what a beautiful mistake it is!
Hello Bryan,
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That was how it went! Came on strong and walked away just as fast. Very real experience!
Hank
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Beautifully done, Sanaa. I love this! ❤
Hello Maria,
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Lovely – both the words/meaning and the form (I do like the Etheree!).
Hello Freya,
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Beautifully romantic, Sanaa! Love this.
Hello Walter,
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This poem has sweetness written all over it. Well done.
Hello Arcadia,
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SMiLes.. my mother..
a published poet
in print.. and
paper.. wrote
a poem named
Green Eyes about
my father saying he
was the most handsome
man in the world and whomever
was married to him was the luckiest
woman of all.. shortly after that he
popped the question… and didn’t
say another word more or less
for three years of marriage..
hmm.. some days eYes
are not enough.. he
left ’cause she wanted
to raise kids more than
make money.. hmm.. i guess
that is why i hate money so
much i never spent it and got
rich.. life is ironic when the son
gets what the father wanted all
his life.. and the son never gave
a crap about
what the Father
wanted that the
Son still has now..
i have a heARt and
some folks say nice
eYes too.. but truly
a heARt is enough for me..
sMiLes.. i retained the best
pARt from my MoTher REAL..
and who kNows perHaps a
‘little’
poeTry
too.. wITh WInk
on paper and or forget
me
nots.. 😉
Hello Katie,
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Ah yes… the flub. Usually, when overcome with the butterflies you describe in your poem, out come the Freudian slips for me (Like the time i asked the cute cashier for a ham poo-nanny instead of panini. Oy!)
This is such a sweet, sunny depiction of being twitterpated. I love it.
Hello Barry,
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Ah those sweet memories of youth.
Hello Vivienne,
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Hopefully we all have some memories of at least one “treasured mistake” lovely poem, so romantic,,,
Hello Ellecee,
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When heart rules head, a mistake is always on the horizon!!
Hello Thotpurge,
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I must agree Sanaa, those romantic mistakes are still treasured years later. I have store of them.
Hello Robin,
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i’m not sure if my comment posted…beautifully written Sanaa….
Hello Sumana,
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Love and mistakes often go hand in hand..hopefully we wouldn’t change too many of those moments though!
Hello Jae Rose,
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This is a heart-stirring etheree!
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Ah! the thrill of young love. Lovely.
Hello Abin,
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The pain of love that is now gone (or seemingly lost) does make us sigh, doesn’t it? Such longing…
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Really admire the structure here, and how it holds together, while the lines seem to fall apart. Fitting for the message of this piece.
Hello Matthew,
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I like the form you chose for this, and especially liked the “treasured mistake”.
Hello Sherry,
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I enjoy the contradiction of “treasured mistake.”
Hello Susan,
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I think we all make some mistakes when it comes to love. The shape of the poem looks like a thinking cap, so I am pondering your words.
Hello Truedessa,
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Sweet young love beautifully penned Sanaa!
Hello Donna,
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As always, you impress me with your use of form. This one though it’s about lost love, has a particular sweetness to it. Enjoyed it so much.
Hello Myrna,
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Suppose I have to lean to the cliché : better to have loved and lost…
Happy you dropped by my Sunday Lime today
Much love…
Hello Gillena,
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rhapsodic breath – sigh – delightful. Another wonderful write, Sanaa,
Hello Wendy,
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Love, especially young love, is blind and sometimes deaf as well,
Elizabeth
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Beautiul and Poignant!
Hello Luk Lei,
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Yes, some mistakes are sweet – and necessary.
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Some mistakes are to be treasured.
Hello Kerry,
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This was beautiful. Loved it.
Hello Jyotsna,
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Walking in like summer takes some skill and finesse, does it not?
Hello MMT,
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PS: It sure does 🙂