Brimming – his eyes welled with innocence and fire
had pierced through heart as ripples of sterling sea.
‘Fidus achates’ he whispered soft into the throbbing
ear. “Though distance be a trifle queer; love not less
though less it might appear.”
In the hush that followed I breathed a silent prayer;
‘that we would never change although we live apart.’
His warm and kind demeanor thawed sadness from
the heart; Lo! restored thus sunken spirit with most
beguiling art.
As such the angels witnessed and cite;
Dawn bent down low to kiss the night.
Photo credits: www.pinterest.com
Posted for Poetics @ dVerse Pub
& Poetry Pantry @ Poets United
Nailed last lines, always, always. And great tone, throughout.
Hello De Jackson,
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Superb Sanaa. A character in the throes of a love poem are rather vulnerable, but written here with such passion. We’ve all felt these things!
Hello Walter,
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Sigh. Sanaa, but this how I feel, upon rereading this several times, to be, so lucky, to have someone, like this.
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Perhaps a lover, yes, perhaps a divorced father, or dear older sibling; lots of subtle room for various scenarios & identities to rise up from what was not said/written; kicked butt on the prompt for sure.
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Really liked how this was conversational, between two lovers. Very nice.
Hello Matthew,
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Love the cadence and that ending couplet is sweet Sanaa ~ Thanks for joining us ~
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I see both closeness and separations, there is a want for more closeness maybe? Love the closing.
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A superb rhyming couplet, Sanaa! And I love these lines:
In the hush that followed I breathed a silent prayer;
‘that we would never change although we live apart.’ They touched a chord.
Hello Kim,
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Lovely way of showing how true friendship transcends all things. And as it happens so often, I completely love your closing line. Such powerful image. ❤
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Ah Dear..
i Love poeTry
that SinGs a Song
from beginning to
end.. alWays a joy
here to come
and join
in..
a gift you
have obviously
perhaps an Angel
in disguise as
poeTry
does
in hUman
touch unrivaled
by words
of
science..:)
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“Though distance be a trifle queer; love not less
though less it might appear.”
If a dear friend whispered that to me I’d have a heck of a time leaving. You are master of this form.
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This is very bitter sweet, Sanaa. The final couplet is perfection.
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Love the image of the last line…
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Those parting lies truly shine – how painful love can be..
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Beautiful lines, Sanaa!
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Your words echo across my heart, past the yellow construction tape. A soft cool breeze.
Thank you for gracing my prompt with your own music.
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Lovely poem – It seems this is your signature style. well done!
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A lovely compelling piece, the whispered words so sparked my interest, i had to go read up a bit on Achates in the Aeneid
Im happy you dropped in at my Sunday Lime today Sanaa
much love…
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For me, your words and voice bring a sense of understatement to the tension and emotion that are contained in them…it makes the reality of the situation all the more powerful. Nicely done!
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soft, subtle, sweet and beautiful….specially the couplet…
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Living apart is hard on lovers…
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very elegant poem. and an awesome couplet to end it! 🙂
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“Love not less, though less it would appear.” I cant get over how well you write like the classical poets of old. It is a gift.
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Wonderful juxtapositions in this piece. A cascade of emotions, beautifully rendered.
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Beautiful.. like a tune rising to a crescendo… the last couplet is exquisite
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Really like your closing lines,
Elizabeth
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Faithful friendship is indeed a great treasure.
PS: I am always struck by what wonderful pictures you find to illustrate your poems so perfectly, in both subject and mood.
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This is tender, sad and provokes a strong feeling (in me) of hoping love does survive the distance. Lovely writing Sanaa.
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Intriguing… never a disappointment reading on your site.
ZQ
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Love that last line “Dawn bent down low to kiss the night.” Lovely piece!
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xoxo