Because I couldn’t just give up
Let my fingers slip from yours-
The heart would – bleed from a bullet
Had he walked through these doors.
Such emotion ‘neath the rough exterior
Let me thaw this icy stare
We dreamed of something rare – special
I’ll take my chances – ’cause I dare.
Let’s look beyond our differences
Come lets pull out a chair
He stood up before I could respond
Twirled me joyfully into the air.
Photo credits:Â wallpaperswide.com
Form: Common Meter
The tug and pull of relationships is a good topic for this form. It’s nice that it has a happy ending and I do hope that after that twirl, they were able to sit down and talk it out!!!
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Sounds like this could be the beginning of something special!
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Very nice take on the prompt. You used some of Dickinson’s techniques quite well — I especially like the use of the dash for pauses perfectly placed. Peace, Linda
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Nice job. I love the playfulness of love. So a nice close on this. It is a back forth with love. As usual nice job with the form.
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You add the BEST pictures to your poems. This one goes along perfectly with the emotion captured by your words.
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Love the romantic ending, hope it works out well ~
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You seem to be on a romantic ride. Nice use of Dickinson techniques.
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Your site makes me sign in every time I comment; bummer. Nice use of the Ed-style common meter, but for me, the message fills me with alacrity, for deep dissent not fully explored can lead to tragedy; as my first two “practice” marriages can vouch for.
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Bravo for giving us a happy poem, spot on in metre and style.
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That is an optimistic ending, and I hope neither of them give up too quickly on this relationship. A good capture of the style and feeling, especially the bleed from a bullet and the whole of the second stanza.
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I always love the positive vibes in your lines…nice romantic close….
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The world needs more of this attitude.
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A delightful and poignant read. Nice piece!
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I do so like a happy ending! Good rhythm and rhyme and what a good story.
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Oh.. primitive cultures.. egalitarian
or matriarchal in substance..
where emotions rule
the human
heart..
instead of
iron fence
controlling
subjugating
patriarchy
repressing
and oppressing
male emotions..
and THAT
is changing
where men
can LOVE TOO..
so yeah.. change is
possible.. but it starts
in loving arms of
mom AND DAD..:)
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Excellent write 🙂
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Nothing like a dash of courage and a dare that reaps sweet rewards
have a lovely Sunday Sanaa, i’m happy you linked up at my Sunday Lime.
much love…
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That was a whirlwind!
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A very positive response indeed. A joyful poem.
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Oh, what a delicious ending!
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a most excellent ending
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Romance is in the air! So true for the young people. Nicely done Sanaa!
Hank
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So beautiful love filled gesture 🙂
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Aw!
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“Because I couldn’t just give up
Let my fingers slip from yours-“…… I love this poem
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