Because I couldn’t just give up

Spread the love

Because I couldn’t just give up
Let my fingers slip from yours-
The heart would – bleed from a bullet
Had he walked through these doors.

Such emotion ‘neath the rough exterior
Let me thaw this icy stare
We dreamed of something rare – special
I’ll take my chances – ’cause I dare.

Let’s look beyond our differences
Come lets pull out a chair
He stood up before I could respond
Twirled me joyfully into the air.

 

 

Photo credits: wallpaperswide.com

Form: Common Meter

Posted on Meeting the Bar @ dVerse Poets Pub

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& posted on the Tuesday Platform @ Real Toads

Comments

  1. Victoria says:

    The tug and pull of relationships is a good topic for this form. It’s nice that it has a happy ending and I do hope that after that twirl, they were able to sit down and talk it out!!!

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Victoria,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 😀
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 🙂
      xoxo

  2. Mary says:

    Sounds like this could be the beginning of something special!

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Mary,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 😀
      Highly appreciated, have a great week ahead.
      xoxo

  3. Very nice take on the prompt. You used some of Dickinson’s techniques quite well — I especially like the use of the dash for pauses perfectly placed. Peace, Linda

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Linda,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 😀
      xoxo

  4. x says:

    Nice job. I love the playfulness of love. So a nice close on this. It is a back forth with love. As usual nice job with the form.

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello X,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 😀
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 🙂
      xoxo

  5. Shawna says:

    You add the BEST pictures to your poems. This one goes along perfectly with the emotion captured by your words.

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Shawna,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 😀
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 🙂
      xoxo

  6. Grace says:

    Love the romantic ending, hope it works out well ~

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Grace,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 😀
      Highly appreciated, have a great week ahead.
      xoxo

  7. Gabriella says:

    You seem to be on a romantic ride. Nice use of Dickinson techniques.

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Gabriella,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 😀
      xoxo

  8. Your site makes me sign in every time I comment; bummer. Nice use of the Ed-style common meter, but for me, the message fills me with alacrity, for deep dissent not fully explored can lead to tragedy; as my first two “practice” marriages can vouch for.

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Glenn,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a nice weekend.

  9. Bravo for giving us a happy poem, spot on in metre and style.

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Vivienne,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 😀
      xoxo

  10. Marina Sofia says:

    That is an optimistic ending, and I hope neither of them give up too quickly on this relationship. A good capture of the style and feeling, especially the bleed from a bullet and the whole of the second stanza.

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Marina,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 😀
      xoxo

  11. Sumana Roy says:

    I always love the positive vibes in your lines…nice romantic close….

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Sumana,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 😀
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 🙂
      xoxo

  12. wolfsrosebud says:

    The world needs more of this attitude.

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Wolfsrosebud,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 😀
      Highly appreciated, have a nice weekend 🙂

  13. blogoratti says:

    A delightful and poignant read. Nice piece!

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Blogoratti,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a nice weekend.

  14. Kanzensakura says:

    I do so like a happy ending! Good rhythm and rhyme and what a good story.

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Kanzen,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 😀
      xoxo

  15. Oh.. primitive cultures.. egalitarian
    or matriarchal in substance..
    where emotions rule
    the human
    heart..
    instead of
    iron fence
    controlling
    subjugating
    patriarchy
    repressing
    and oppressing
    male emotions..
    and THAT
    is changing
    where men
    can LOVE TOO..
    so yeah.. change is
    possible.. but it starts
    in loving arms of
    mom AND DAD..:)

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Katie,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a nice weekend!
      xoxo

  16. Sabio Lantz says:

    Excellent write 🙂

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Sabio,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a nice weekend.

  17. gillena says:

    Nothing like a dash of courage and a dare that reaps sweet rewards
    have a lovely Sunday Sanaa, i’m happy you linked up at my Sunday Lime.

    much love…

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Gillena,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 😀
      xoxo

  18. That was a whirlwind!

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Colleen,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a great week ahead.
      xoxo

  19. A very positive response indeed. A joyful poem.

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Sherry,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 😀
      xoxo

  20. Oh, what a delicious ending!

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Rosemary,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 😀
      xoxo

  21. Brother Ollie says:

    a most excellent ending

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Brother Ollie,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a great week ahead.

  22. kaykuala h says:

    Romance is in the air! So true for the young people. Nicely done Sanaa!

    Hank

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Hank,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a great week ahead.

  23. vandana says:

    So beautiful love filled gesture 🙂

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Vandana,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 😀
      xoxo

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Marian,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 😀
      xoxo

  24. Debi says:

    “Because I couldn’t just give up
    Let my fingers slip from yours-“…… I love this poem

    1. adashofsunny says:

      Hello Debi,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 😀
      xoxo

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