I wonder why she turns away;
Just when things start getting serious.
The heart does bleed – wish she knew.
How I wish that she would stay;
Hold this hand and tell her tale.
I wonder why she turns away.
Whenever she spoke – my spirits flew
The color of rose in her cheeks.
The heart does bleed – wish she knew.
The sky broke out in red dismay;
A chance to change and seal our fate.
I wonder why she turns away.
I ponder in frenzy on love’s adieu;
Love’s dreams prove seldom true.
The heart does bleed – wish she knew.
Above the skies of purest blue;
All around her eyes pursue.
Remember us paddling in red canoe.
The heart does bleed – wish she knew.
Photo Credits:Β wallpaper222.com
The heart does bleed and break..and sometimes we never really know why he or she left. If she was afraid of intimacy, that would explain a lot.
Unrequited love fills a lot of diaries with such thoughts. Lovely poem.
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Maybe it was his garlic chewing gum, or thinking that a kiss on the forehead was foreplay, or perhaps he was a lousy lover, or preferred golf to gardening, or didn’t listen to her, hear her, or respect her opinions, or maybe he was a mean drunk, hated dogs & children. So many options.
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Very blue and soulful, could play a blues guitar behind this while you recite it
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Sanaa, the male voice comes through so very authentically here. Sometimes a person really doesn’t know why a relationship does not work. I really feel his pain!
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This is a sad love story and the refrain works well with the lover’s angst of: The heart does bleed β wish she knew. A lovely villanelle as well ~ Have a good week Sanaa ~
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I think you did wonderfully, and the form and rhythm of this really added great depth to the hard-felt (and heartfelt) emotion.
We always wish we knew the answers when love doesn’t work out, and those answers are always so elusive. I like to think it means his great love is still in the future. I especially love that last stanza with its vivid imagery that brings it all home.
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oh, that poor man! well done.
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Your male voice comes through very well. His musings about what happened between them cut right to the heart…bleeding. Poor guy…I feel for him that he has to wonder. A very good villanelle too!
Gayle ~
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Hi! I was wondering if you’d like to guest post again. I have a blogging event coming up in November about Walking with Intention. If you’re interested in writing for that, please check out the details here: http://theseekersdungeon.com/30-days-of-walkingwithintention/
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I feel the male inner voice trying in vain to express his feelings.. How he has failed to express his heart breaking, maybe only showing anger.. Great job on the Villanelle.
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Stone cold heArts
no wateRing
by parents
starts
decent
of Life
to no
ART
of heArts
SpiRit
SoUl
balance
NOT..
male or female
without heart
dead in life..
simple
as that..
and often
no coming
back in life saddest ALL…
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I really like these lines:
“The sky broke out in red dismay”
“All around her eyes pursue.”
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How sad this is! He wonders but sometimes, and we know guys (and women) like this who do wonder and get sad but really don’t want to know because it is a pattern with them. I’d like to think he really does want to know. And, most excellent villanelle!
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Excellent use of form here.
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Your voice came through, well done.
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That was sad and wistful. Lilting and lyrical. Flowing like a song. Maybe he should send her this poem, and if she is still restless, find someone who listens π
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Communication is so important in nurturing a relationship. I know I can tell. No rapport no good
Thanks for this telling poem Sana’a
Much love…
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Your new blog design seems to reflect this poem so aptly – still full of hope and love and yet honest and yearning..i am sure she knows – that is what we must hope i suppose
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Lyrical villanelle…
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Beautifully romantic, as w have come to expect from you. I particularly like, ‘The sky broke out in red dismay’.
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It sounds like she is one of these people that really don’t want to get too close. Perhaps intimacy frightens her. It is nothing anyone else can change about a person. She has to tackle the issue herself. I like the form of this poem, Sanaa!
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Good use of the form, the refrain works very well for this sort of theme.
sometimes a breakup happens due to the smallest of issues. π
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She needs a hearing. If only he can hear and respond as expected, love is such! Opportunity may not strike a second time! Great lines Sanaa!
Hank
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Wishing you a lovely Sunday and thank you for dropping in at my Sunday Lime today
Much love…
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So sad and heartfelt…this line really struck me: βThe sky broke out in red dismayβ
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You evoke the romantic who uses the occasion of loss to create a beautiful song. I can picture his fans swooning and then using this song and its perfect chorus to express their own losses.
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There is always a reason why she turns away…..the villanelle form works so well in this poem, the repetition is effective and poignant….”wish she knew”……….very well written.
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I think the time would help to get the answer….some people need years….to figure it out….sigh… ~ like how the rhythm of villanelle swinging with the story, so the last verse comes as reward about the memory of ‘ paddling in red canoe.’
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You describe the feelings perfectly.
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How so many of us will relate to this poem of lost love. There is such poignancy in the words which reminds me how I felt (several times) in my younger years. Luckily we are resilient and will get over it!
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This takes on a different perspective and perhaps she is afraid of getting hurt. Who knows for sure?
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A wonderfully drawn villanelle. And they are so-o-o-o challenging! Very cool that you took the form on – and did so with such skill and artistry.
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The villanelle really works to emphasize the lonely stuck place your speaker comes from,
Elizabeth
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If she doesn’t know, then she should be told … a lovely villanelle.
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The pain of losing a lover for whatever reason is one that doesn’t change no matter how often it happens.
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