Who knows why uncertainty arrives with such ease at Twilight

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I washed my hands of remains of yesterday and looked toward the hills,
as the sun beats down upon my skin
the one that sends new leaves bursting from the blackened buds,
the one that tells how the mind is clear one moment
and clouded the next
I have rehearsed the art of gathering sense and pulling oneself together a million times.

Uncertainty is a rose unwilling to bloom, the kind that resolves to wither as time goes,
a whisper of breakage when you are unable to walk away,
a symphony of heartache in the blackness of night,
I hold onto knowledge, it’s blinding light
for what’s better to battle demons with when the stars align
uncertainty is when you are convinced that tofu salad isn’t half as succulent
as you thought it so.

Everyone has fears, everyone has doubts, each and every one of us is a warrior
fighting so that dreams one day can be fulfilled,
I mouth prayer into the abyss of unknown, lie within chaos and strive
to create comfort
I am not the type to embrace black humor,
instead I favour tasted hope that strings across the promenade
when days begin to feel like distant places
everyone is calm on the surface when in reality inward there is brewing a storm.

Nowadays minutes are melting into memories, not a day goes by
without longing to see your face
I am certain light will withstand darkness, so I fill the empty spaces of my poems
I am no stranger to forgotten mugs of coffee, plethora of orchids going dark
and crying in the bathroom,
again the heart is thrown into misadventure, again I rise and disregard
the fogged-up sky;
we can never entirely be sure of anything but we can opt to choose faith
how else do you expect to survive on this planet?

I washed my hands of remains of yesterday and looked toward the hills.

 

Photo credits: The Open Door by Sam Sidders, Pinterest

Posted for Tuesday Platform @ Real Toads

Posted for ‘Midweek Motif’ @ Poets United

50 thoughts on “Who knows why uncertainty arrives with such ease at Twilight

  1. Thotpurge says:

    Loved the image of : Uncertainty is a rose unwilling to bloom and when days begin to feel like distant places…!!

  2. marja says:

    Gorgeous poem Love : I mouth prayer into the abyss of unknown, lie within chaos and strive
    to create comfort and “minutes are melting into memories”

  3. Kim M. Russell says:

    I like the circularity of this poem, Sanaa, and the idea that one can wash hands of remains of yesterday, looking forward to ‘new leaves bursting from the blackened buds’. There is hope in the hills. I especially enjoyed the lines:
    ‘Uncertainty is a rose unwilling to bloom, the kind that resolves to wither as time goes,
    a whisper of breakage when you are unable to walk away,
    a symphony of heartache in the blackness of night’.

  4. Kerry says:

    The first stanza really speaks to me, Sanaa. Perhaps the winter drought is getting to me. Perhaps I have pulled myself together a millionth time too many…

    again I rise and disregard
    the fogged-up sky
    we can never entirely be sure of anything but we can opt to choose faith
    how else do you expect to survive on this planet?

    A most worthy question in conclusion. And thank you for the brilliant reading. Always a pleasure.

  5. Margaret says:

    “so I fill the empty spaces of my poems” the poem is a long drawn out sigh, a straightening of the shoulders, and a determined gaze … beautiful

  6. Cressida de Nova says:

    Thought provoking. We cannot be sure of the outcome of our lives but we can choose faith or sometimes faith chooses us in spite of our resistance and I agree, it is unimaginable surviving in these troubled times without some dimension of spirituality. Enjoyed this very much.

  7. Mary says:

    I am hoping that light can withstand this darkness! We do have to wash our hands of yesterday as we move into the future. Hopefully, into more light!

  8. Bjorn Rudberg says:

    I really love how you found that beacon of hope in the end. They say that limbo is even worse than the penance of hell… to not really know is a torment…

  9. Sherry Blue Sky says:

    Choosing hope and faith is the way to go, when one is young and full of dreams. Beautifully done, Sanaa. I love the title of this prompt. It sparked a depressing recap of the current news, but it was pain that needed to find words.

  10. Jim says:

    Lots of nice comparisons, figures of speech that I liked, Sanaa. A love that is true in the light but then in the dark subsides is very suspect.
    ..

  11. Old Egg says:

    I like the way the narrator analyzed the situation to convince themselves as they related the situation. If only more of us would do that as we encounter the difficulties of life. You certainly have an engaging writing style Sanaa!

  12. Sumana Roy says:

    The poem reminds me of Dickinson’s ‘“Hope” is the thing with feathers -‘. So positive and so hopeful in the midst of chaos. Love the deep faith each word exudes.

  13. gillena says:

    “I have rehearsed the art of gathering sense and pulling oneself together a million times.”
    Stunning line Sanaa
    So many positive affirmations in this poem

    Happy Wednesday

    much love…

  14. Wendy Bourke says:

    A thoughtful and thought provoking piece that speaks to the title, with compelling and emotive lines of poetry. One in particular that stood out for me: “a symphony of heartache in the blackness of night” … poignant and powerful.

  15. Khaya Ronkainen says:

    Oh, your title says it all. As it’s often in those twilight hours that uncertainty intensifies.
    And I like this a lot, “instead I favour tasted hope that strings across the promenade…” as it captures the kind of hope needed even when a storm is brewing inside. Choosing faith sounds like a better option, because we can never be entirely certain. Deep and spot on piece, Sanaa.

  16. Sara McNulty says:

    I love your use of the first line becoming the last line.

    “uncertainty is a rose unwilling to bloom”.

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