Unraveling the pattern of pretense

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Lately it seems as though
sighs are dew which have
turned to frost–

Why do I bear this burden
oh why does dawn bleed
red and shout?

As waves that lend chorus
of voices is pretense, come
adorn me with tears, come
wound with shallowness
of heart–

To the incessant calling of
sorrow you plead deaf, I’d
rather you didn’t hide
behind smiles while you
pity and change,

you termed me as foolish
while I identified you as
strange.

 

Photo credits: Pinterest

Posted on ‘Open Link Night’ @ dVerse Pub

Posted on ‘Poetry Pantry’ @ Poets United

90 Replies to “Unraveling the pattern of pretense”

  1. A well deserved scorn in the end… those insensitive smiles do not deserve to be treated as anything else than strange.

  2. Interesting subject. It is my sense that pretensiousness is usually treated satirically or ironically as A characteristic of individuals either callous or unaware and thus somewhat outside the bounds of serious literary contemplation, which prompts me to reflect your question back:
    β€œWhy do you bear this burden?” You answer subtly and beautifully that the poet longs to be understood and acknowledged by the loved one, and the fact that this is not done and such desires labeled as foolishness hurts , and frames the β€œstrangeness” vs intimacy vis a vis. Well done, resonant.

  3. There is an unmistakable hint of agony and pain in “Oh why does dawn bleed red and shout?” A powerful and poignant write!

  4. “As waves that lend chorus of voices is pretense” .. sigh this is such a potent and apt description! πŸ’™

      1. Returning for seconds… and delighting in the bittersweet emotions of the last stanza. Bittersweet because some discoveries are bitter, but they need to happen before we can taste the sweetness that comes with moving on… and finding better.

  5. “To the incessant calling of
    sorrow you plead deaf, I’d
    rather you didn’t hide
    behind smiles while you
    pity and change,”

    This line struck me hard. I feel guilty of ‘pleading deaf’ myself. I wonder if you would further expand this idea for me, either here or in another poem?

  6. Your opening stanza really shone for me. Setting the scene for the denouement in the following verses as their relationship is shattered. What a brilliant write Sanaa..

  7. I like the duality of the process. It does go both ways doesn’t it?

    “You termed me as foolish
    while I identified you as
    strange”

    Muchβ™₯️love

  8. Makes me wonder why these two have a relationship if they think one another either ‘foolish’ or ‘strange.’

  9. I hate it when people pretend that they don’t hear me, even when I shout. That’s one element of this poem that resonates with me.

  10. I like the imagery here. Also I sense the narrator would like to describe the pretentious person as more than strange but just left it that.

  11. My first thought is that pretense is never good…but wait, there will be times it can help. Sometimes we don’t want to spread our inner most thoughts all over the ground, and when you say, “How are you?” My answer will be, “I’m OK.” When clearly I am not…it is just as well. Keep it to yourself, no need to hang out the laundry for all to see, when it is not necessary. Not the right time to share, probably not expected, just a superficial inquiry. Requiring a superficial answer?

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