There is a silence to my soul
led on by a brutal loneliness, as though a peach pitted
and left outside to rot
perhaps if dismal dawn is kind,
I shall refuse to be a part of your life,
you haunting me
is chaos
is like walking in the shadows
is poison
and I have had enough.
Come January,
come break my heart and make it whole again
there are more important things than love
dying in first light,
there are Poets strolling through unvarying flood,
would that there blow a fragrant wind
and declutter the world filled with grief.
There is a peculiar kind of beauty
that can only be experienced when we have risen
from the ashes
like a prayer darting back and forth
when it hears one call out its name,
I have given up despair
muffled the moans of past
with fire raging inside apocalyptic breast,
I have left remnants of woe stranded across the street.
Twilight comes sooner than expected,
and slowly the view changes
becomes a thing of red,
silhouetted against the darkening sky
I smile
and usher objective into the hollow.
Photo credits: Pinterest
This is so insightful: “there are more important things than love”
I am insane over this killer ending:
“and slowly the view changes
becomes a thing of red,
silhouetted against the darkening sky
I smile
and usher objective into the hollow”
Incredible writing, Sanaa.
Thank you so much, Wisteria 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
You built a great poem around the climactic finish, Sanaa. Such a brilliant word choice throughout.
Thank you so much, Kerry 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
Your poems are getting longer and more pensive, Sanaa. The first stanza is heartfelt and I particularly like:
‘…a peculiar kind of beauty
that can only be experienced when we have risen
from the ashes
like a prayer darting back and forth’
and
‘Twilight comes sooner than expected,
and slowly the view changes
becomes a thing of red,
silhouetted against the darkening sky’.
Thank you so much, Kim 😀 so good to see you ❤️
I really like how you are reaching to name something more difficult and tenuous than what we write in comfort right past — The Blake quote is an interesting start, which in my reading says to not be fooled by what we think or want to see. Sometimes love – or lack or loss of it — leaves us feeling homeless, and the general wintry space here suggests that: Yet there is a turn which is an in-sighting of which Blake would approve: “… slowly the view changes / becomes a thing of red, / silhouetted against the darkening sky’. Of that red world or worldling I would love to see more. I’m not sure I understand “usher objective into the hollow” except as finding purpose in emptiness, or maybe, a la Blake, to look upon the dark with dark eyes. Well done!
Thank you so much, Brendan 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
(I love how closely you analyze and get the gist of my poems) 🌹
“I have left remnants of woe stranded across the street.” and January is the essence of starting over!
Definitely 😀 thanks for stopping by, Margaret ❤️
“Come break my heart and make it whole again….” A wonderfully complex poem sparked by one word.
Thank you so much, Sherry 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
I really loved the first 4 lines of the second stanza Sanaa – they really are show-stopping wonderful for the gentle but firm power – an assertion that comes from a determined mind and heart – just wonderful!
and the idea of a prayer darting back and forth – as if waiting, – somewhere, – for the call is stunning! a true impact moment in the reading –
there are some very interesting ideas here, mixing and co-mingling – and it adds a wonderful depth of feeling that is unfolding, like a tight flower bud warms to the light and begins the next stage – unfurl.
lovely qualities within these words Sanaa – definitely offers us something to sit with and enjoy
Thank you so much, Pat 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Indeed, there is beauty that can only be seen, appreciated, understood… after we’ve burned.
Definitely 😀 thanks for stopping by, Magaly ❤️
If only there was something more important than love but no it captures us and wounds us in so many ways because we always want more. What a magnificent poem this is Sanaa.
Thank you so much, Robin 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
Indeed life once again begins from ashes if it wills. Love the beautiful imagery all through the poem. The image of decluttering the world filled with grief is a strong one.
Thank you so much, Sumana 😀 so good to see you ❤️
This is what I read poetry for–an entire story that feels like it takes place in the slim space of a few stanzas. I could read this on different days and see something different, spark stories and insight and comfort from those final lines. Wow.
Thank you so much, Chrissa 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Surely this is your best poem to date – or do I think that every time? “as though a peach pitted
and left outside to rot ” – breaking up is so hard to do – we linger longer after
Thank you so much, Laura 😀 so good to see you ❤️
I love how you made us read through these emotions, Sanaa! Like Kim mentioned, this is such a pensive piece, with the tumult of thoughts becoming one with the prayer and the returns, whatever they may be. Of course, “more important things than love” took me to Faiz’s “Aur bhi dukh hai zamane mein mohabbat ke siva…”, closely followed by, “declutter the world filled with grief”: It seems you captured both the romantic and the revolutionary in Faiz. How wonderful! Love the turn you are taking with your verse. I’m excited to read more of your penmanship. <3
Awww gosh! ❤️ Thank you so much, Anmol 😀 so glad you liked it! ❤️
“Tu jo mil jaye to taqdir nigun ho jaye
yun na tha, main ne faqat chaha tha yun ho jaye.” 🙂
You’ve written a beautiful, complex piece, Sanaa. It’s so rich – a tapestry woven with many threads, getting to the truth about love and loss and going on after.
Thank you so much, Mary 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Such a gorgeous piece!
Thank you so much, Vicki 😀 so good to see you ❤️
This is immense, huge … and incredibly beautiful.
Thank you so much, Helen 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
“Desire” can be such a weary thing.
Definitely 🙂 thanks for stopping by, Annell ❤️
Red always makes me feel better when I spot it in plain places. I believe there could be a a fragrant wind
to declutter the world filled with grief.
Thank you so much, Colleen 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
powerful, Sanaa ~
Thank you so much, Michael 😀 so good to see you ❤️
There can definitely be a particular beauty when rising from the ashes. Maybe a deeper appreciation of what once was and what can be again, albeit in a new way! Twilight does indeed come earlier than expected. I don’t think one is ever really ready for that twilight that leads to the darkest of night.
Thank you so much, Mary 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
I entered the hollows of my heart , well written … interesting. …as I watch the beauty of winter and awaiting Spring.
ZQ
Thank you so much, ZQ 😀 so good to see you ❤️
Wonderful writing! Beautiful words that evoke … and demanded to be read aloud.
Thank you so much, Wendy 😍 so glad you liked it ❤️
Wow! What splendid poeticising! Astounding, really. Already writing beautifully in a highly original style, you seem to have taken a new quantum leap with this one.
Awww gosh! ❤️ Thank you so much, Rosemary 😍 so glad you enjoyed it! ❤️
I love there being left ‘remnants of woe stranded across the street.’ And then ending with a smile.
..
Thank you so much, Jim 😀 so good to see you ❤️
like a prayer darting back and forth
when it hears one call out its name… this is beautiful Sanaa…
Thank you so much, Rajani 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
I love the theatric feel of this poem. Beautiful!
Thank you so much, Vivian 😀 so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
What a gorgeous, gorgeous poem, Sanaa. And I appreciate its reflection. Are there
more important things than love
dying in first light
? I’m not sure about that.
Thank you so much, Marian 😀 so glad you liked it ❤️
(and thank you for the lovely prompt) 🌹