Like wisps of clouds are hours of sleep
ephemeral, and yet saccharine sweet.
As darknessΒ piled on I began to sway,
with mind in motion as battle of waves.
And though the heart lapped with ease
I pondered on every rhythm and beat,
observed as moments grew austere
while gust outside roared loud and clear.
I reach out and chase hoping to achieve
if not enough then few hours of sleep,
As dawn swiveled on I began to sway
with mind in motion as battle of waves.
Photo credits:Β Pinterest
The repetitive actions at “darkness piled” and “dawn swiveled” according to me made the writing more intense. A beautifully written piece, Sanaa π
Thank you so much, Vijita π so glad you liked it β€οΈ
All too often, sleep is ephemeral as wisps of clouds. It is in this time poems sometime come to me as midnight epiphanies, so all is not lost!
Definitely β€οΈ thanks for stopping by, Beverly π
Oh sleep… sometimes it’s overrated, but so sweet when you are lulled away.
Thank you so much, Bjorn π so good to see you β€οΈ
You make insomnia beautiful with rhythm and rhyme!
Awww!β€οΈ Thank you so much, Lynn π so glad you liked it!β€οΈ
You’ve done repetition here so well! The whole poem flows beautifully.
Thank you so much, Charlotte π so glad you liked it β€οΈ
I’m taken away by the flow of this dream
Thank you so much, Martin π so glad you liked it β€οΈ
I do think you’ve hit on a universal theme here–insomnia is not our friend. I just have to get up and watch TV or read a book until I get drowsy. Getting no sleep, or just a few hours, I recall, made the day at work nightmarish. I liked the subtleness of your rhyme scheme.
Thank you so much, Glenn π so good to see you β€οΈ
Swayed in just before the dawn. I know, happen to me a lot.
I specially admire this part:
As darkness piled on I began to sway,
with mind in motion as battle of waves.
Thank you so much, Grace π so glad you enjoyed it β€οΈ
In your deft hands, insomnia is wrapped up beautifully in a comforting lullaby.
Thank you so much, Lynn π so glad you liked it β€οΈ
Very apt words, Sanaa, and I can empathize. I have mostly beat my insomnia so never despair, it is possible!
Awww!β€οΈ Thank you so much, Augustine π so good to see you!β€οΈ
(the poem is not autobiographical)
Though insomnia does feel like a “battle of waves”, your poem has a beautiful ebb and flow.
Thank you so much, Jennifer π so glad you liked it β€οΈ
As usual, Sanaa, your flow is perfect.
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Wisps of cloud, ephemeral and saccharine sweet – yes, that’s sleep when you’re an insomniac. I love the way you capture the invasion of thought and sound:
‘I pondered on every rhythm and beat,
observed as moments grew austere
while gust outside roared loud and clear’.
Thank you so much, Kim π so glad you liked it β€οΈ
“with mind in motion as battle of waves” : The refrain captures the essence of the poem so well. If only insomnia too could be this poetic. A lovely piece, Sanaa.
Thank you so much, Anmol π so glad you enjoyed it β€οΈ
I like the repetition in this, so very like the flow of the waves, almost a cascade poem.
Thank you so much, Jane π so glad you liked it β€
Well told. I know this so well!
Thank you so much, Petru π so good to see you β€
The last two lines describe every sleepless night I’ve ever had.
Thank you so much, Magaly π so good to see you β€
The form gives a wonderful flow to your words. Nicely done!
Thank you so much, Jilly π so glad you enjoyed it β€
I like the comparison of sleep with clouds.
Thank you so much, Jenna π so glad you liked it β€
I liked the repeating line: “with mind in motion as battle of waves” although I’m not clear what it means, but that might not matter.
Thank you so much, Frank π so glad you liked it β€
Beautifully written Sanaa and how easy to relate to that “swaying with mind in motion” as sleep eludes us.
Thank you so much, Robin π so glad you liked it β€
Lovely, Sanaa.
Thank you so much, Sarah π so glad you liked it β€