Demure

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I admit sometimes I can be demure
please endure
As I reach to find appropriate words
vocal cords
And when I do shall surely say
night and day
Your passion takes my breath away
And though its difficult, shall say it still
I’m drawn towards your sweetest skill
So please endure vocal cords night and day.

 

 

Photo credits: favim.com

Form: Ovillejo

Posted for Meeting the Bar @ dVerse Pub

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43 Replies to “Demure”

  1. This is a sweet write Sanaa ~ Hard to be demure when you want to say a lot of things to someone you like ~

    My comment on the form will be the last line – you need to repeat lines 2, 4 & 6 ~

    Thanks for joining us and wishing you a wonderful week ~

    1. Hello Grace,

      Thank you so much, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, lots of love 🙂
      xoxo

      PS: Thanks for the kind advice 🙂

    1. Hello De Jackson,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a great week ahead.

      PS: I ll try and tweak it 🙂

      1. Yay! See! Awesome!
        I really LOVE your slant rhyme with words/cords. Wonderful.
        And I have seen many poets add one word to the last line like you have. I think it works well, and keeps the form from becoming…formulaic. You know?

        I think this has all of the great qualities of the original poem, but now fits the form. Well done!

  2. Sanaa, came back a second time to see if you had fixed the form a bit. I see you have! I knew you would…as you are good with forms. Smiles! Really nice now.

    1. Hello Mary,

      Thanks for stopping by, so glad you liked it 🙂
      Highly appreciated, have a great week ahead.

      PS: That was really sweet of you 🙂

  3. You did great with the form, Sanaa. I didn’t see it before it got “tweaked” but seems it clicked for you and it came out great. You are a romantic that’s for sure. 🙂

  4. SMiLes.. most aMaZing
    pArts of mY liFe
    are both living
    stone cold
    shy
    and
    Sun out
    B r i G h t
    to find out
    how
    both
    sides
    truLy live..
    Sun out iS OMG
    so much more fun
    iN liGht.. i’LL
    never go
    cOld
    stone
    again..:)

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