12 A.M. I held my heart as outside it began to rain, the cry of an owl told me the uncaring knew not change they dupe the eyes of men, dare I storm into their hideout and take a chance?
There is a colourable look that you wear that maddens the eye and blows
my mind, words that follow seem dipped in shades of red, this saucy drumming has given me a pain in my head. You see the problem with being the strong one is knowing wooden hearts will never bend. Come morning, come lift me out from the cloud
of darkness, this less than polite percussion and put my suffering
to an end.
Like a smoldering sun, January services like a drum and though the cold keeps surging through
my veins I am embroidered with the sweet desire to live.
Like a cigarette raised to eloquent lips, desire consumes one like the ocean stretching itself until it’s only an inch away from toes. In my mind there is a constant echo of the time I first saw you, the way our eyes met across the hallway. Tell me, is it just me or was there something about the way wind blew that made me want to reach out since feeling was fresh with bloom–
I walk towards you in a velvet blue dress, with the reminder of an errand stirring inside my breast. It felt natural, it felt like morning falling into easy rhythm I am gloriously ignorant of years that are waiting to unravel themselves. What was it about you that drew me like moth to a flame? I wonder up to this very day as the sun turns a shade darker, of berry, blush and a thousand lifelong promises crushed.
I refuse to dwell in the past, to be honest I am bored with the idea of you, it leaves me yearning like a note slipped deep inside the pocket like a secret I am tired of longing for deep conversation, of silken skin to peruse and embrace in truth you are travesty, a lipstick smear and a stain I am dangerously close to changing my perspective. Desire is knowing I can’t have you.
Desolation is when the heart is laden with rage, a soft, pale September morning when everything you have loved is flushed down the drain, a bemused smile, thundering heart
and burnt page sent me running into the arms of dark origin.
Twenty-three hit me like a hammer drove me over the edge, I slept with danger and flirted with the idea of death, I knew not individuality I knew not self my eyes were heavy witnessing what I’d learned
Nobody warned me youth would yield consequences, darling
I became dawn dipped into grey twilight; soon craving embraced my soul and cut my hand my heart was a ghost town, like a rose in sand.
I am known not to swear but fuck what the hell was I thinking! Thanks to the rebel in me recklessness had a new name,
excuse my French. Perhaps the only way to instill humanity back was to die
a couple of times.
I am sunshine who has battled her way through the rain, poetry my savior, my subconscious, my one way ticket to salvation I have come to know that strong need only be willing, this is my story and I am not ashamed.
Melancholy was a lover dressed in red with a burden of mortality and mind filled
with dread, I beg to be released lest heart be taken
with lust, be naked as sky and unwilling to change. Yet I imagine you dreaming only of me.
There is a silence to my soul led on by a brutal loneliness, as though a peach pitted and left outside to rot perhaps if dismal dawn is kind, I shall refuse to be a part of your life, you haunting me
is chaos is like walking in the shadows is poison and I have had enough.
Come January, come break my heart and make it whole again there are more important things than love dying in first light, there are Poets strolling through unvarying flood, would that there blow a fragrant wind and declutter the world filled with grief.
There is a peculiar kind of beauty that can only be experienced when we have risen
from the ashes like a prayer darting back and forth when it hears one call out its name, I have given up despair
muffled the moans of past
with fire raging inside apocalyptic breast,
I have left remnants of woe stranded across the street.
Twilight comes sooner than expected, and slowly the view changes becomes a thing of red, silhouetted against the darkening sky
I smile and usher objective into the hollow.