I Named You Grief

What’s the proper etiquette of dealing with grief?
Is it the sealing of lips?
Is it listening to the endless waves of the ocean?
Behind the shadow of eyes there lies a world
where memories of long ago swim
whether in cloud,
in concealment, in light or in the dark
and though I know I mustn’t hold on
I must let go,
fall further into the bottomless abyss where anguish

The landscape glows a brilliant shade of amber
and rose,
yet I shudder at the mere reminder of past events
don’t maintain eye contact,
don’t absentmindedly listen
lest others make out what’s going on inside your head,
it’s not that I am reluctant to share
it’s not that idea of discussing with a friend hasn’t crossed
my mind,
it’s just that I have closed my eyes for a moment
to cope.

It comes in episodes, this fortitude, this indomitability
this hardihood,
I am led by the understanding of tears as realization forms
like newly growing grass,
is it the building of bridges?
is it the carrying forward of heart?
is it the determination of facing life headlong,
tell me,
what’s the proper etiquette of dealing with grief?


Photo credits: Arrows by Loui Jover

Posted for Poems in April @ Real Toads